Hip Hop Forum

[soundclick]10249735[/soundclick]

This is not a finished product, I'm just testing out my new mic and practicing on mixing. Constructive critcism is appreciated and any helpful tips.

Lyrics:
ive been hopin many years tokin on blunts
that are cut open feelin that summer funk
crumpled up many papers sittin in the basement
playing call of duty while my real one's evading
me, til this year this my year
im'a fly high superman raising my beer
ride the tide with the rest dryin up my tears
yes life is a test got the answers right here
been in many fights the scars are now visible
now im gettin props from the people that have ridiculed
me in many ways the stage is now difficult
filled up with snakes who would pay to see me finished dude
since i lit the fuse, everybody wanna chill
with the rapper but i aint sharing no meals
only with my close friends, who've been with me
since the days i rocked them big jeans and big t's
now its hoodies and a blazer, yea i changed b
stopped chasin girls now its all about the ladies
with some true class and a real fit ass
body with a mind who aint here to just smash
knows them true facts white brown or black
it don't matter the color, we all the same when we all laugh
get the cash fast then im outtie no return
a little bit of chilling time is what i really finna earn
but i will never get it only when im in an urn
or a casket blasted for spitting all these germs

Wax swagger jacker smh.
(Like I didn't want to do the same thing lol)

I like how fast you went with the beat. Good decision. Good breath control. The delivery was pretty stale, your main problem. The lyrics were good, nothing eye opening but just good. I think you should have used 2-3 syllable multies cause that's when this type of flow sounded the best. Keep it up.

Keep working on those rhymes, you got some multies popping up, just try to get more of a flow to the rhymes and not force them. Good flow though.

delivery is dope dawg. maybe jus throwin a LITTLE bit of swag or some style and your shit would be dead on man. you had good material throughout the verse. you rode the beat well and delivered solid. for a one verse track, it was pretty nice. i like bustin those every once in a while too. keep it up man

I was bobbing my head on this one. Not to take away from the lyrics but if you can just listen to a song and not really listen to the words the first time just how the emcee is flowing to it and I think you did your job. When the beat started I looked off into nothing and just drifted somewhere in the cosmos and I didn't get back until the verse ended. That's what hip-hop and, for that matter, music is for. It's an escape. Thanks for the escape dude, even if it was short and sweet. Good Work.

that was allright man, nothing that blew me away. but shit was smooth, very white boy ish, just reminds me of a young slug from atmosphere.. but on the real good shit man.

I don't want to bash it, but to be honest this sounds amateurish to me. Then again you're using a beat from an amazing classic song, so I had high expectations from the beginning. Lyrics are dope but the flow just isn't smooth as it could be. It's not really offbeat but it just doesn't flow smoothly over the drumline. The delivery is also kind of dull and it sounds like you're reading it off a piece of paper.

first thing you notice is the flow.. its so smooth and rides the beat so well.. the tone and how you presented the lyrics were real nice.. i like the constant flow... man, kinda disappointed it ended haha.. be nice to see what you can do with the hook... add another verse and hook haha.. good job bro