Hip Hop Forum

some christmas, fucked up new year, hard times/
mood declines to anger as my control reclines//
emotions becoming to much to hide, overwelming/
me to the point that my parms are sweating//
eyes glowing red, like the enternal embers/
boiling enough to heat the coldest of decembers//
leaving not mental scars but the ones in my side/
left torn by cold steel, entering from my behind//
guess they call it a blind spot for a good reason/
coz' you dont expect your friends to commit treason//
dont get me wrong, i got bitter sweet revenge//
avenged myself, grabbed his head ad split a plate glass window//
froze and just watched as the glass sparkled and piled up by the kilo//
frozen into this cold night itself, left my body as it hit the floor/
lifeless sack, body looking like a sand bag, they said my wounds coundnt bleed more//
one transfusion, 60 stiches later, one death and spending the holidays in remand/
is what i got that night, im the criminal even when stabbed, inasence i demand//

fed on murks and some topic in the writtens area

peace

This was nice...although I thought you was going to do more with it
when I got towards the end I thought you woulda got more detailed
the vocab you used was decent, and the vibe was pretty nice
but it felt like it just needed to be extended a bit, is this for a track?
or are you just writing? either way it was a cool lil' piece man
keep writing!

just little piece i made on remand was long as fuck but can only rember the start, although i am disapointed about the end i may go back at sum point n finish it, but id like to try n get good at battles so a dunno.

cheers for the feed qwarterz, ur on netcees to aint ya, seen that name before.

i sees you wana battle deception bring it....

I liked the feeling of this piece, over-all. I thought after the first two lines it would get more detailed, and towards the end, it seemed to me those longer lines threw off your cadence just a little. This is more of the 'get shit off my chest' type of verse, and I can definitely relate to dropping those from time to time, especially to warm up and get back into the groove of things. Glad to see you back on the site man. Keep at it. One.

cheers for the feed murk much appreciated