Hip Hop Forum

my boy doda on the hook
i do verse 1
anonimous v2

I feel like your rhymes are real slick but they aren't flowing with the beat like they should. You need to become a unity with that shit. You and the beat are one entity. Much respect to you though. I like the lyrics but the timing was a bit off.

^ appreciate the feedback n yeah i know i been working on it

chorus, the way he sings, dragging, is rather boring. The beat right off the bat is doing something weird when it kicks to my speakers, yes only this song. Sounds like baseline hitting rattling a pencil on a desk. Your flow is improving drastically. If you listen to one of the first pieces you uploaded, and compare it to this one, sounds like two different people. So props man. It seems like your vocals are still a little to loud on the beat. What kind of speakers are you using to reference? Your displaying a nice vocab as well, but it feels like a couple more syllables in your lines would benefit the flow. Man, that pencil rattle is fucking annoying. in comparison to your other pieces, this is one of the best. BUT, you still have a lot of room to improve. The skip you added at the end with the hook, should have faded out with each skip. As in manually go into the skip, lower the volume to it till he says it and disappears. Instead of skipping and abruptly ending. Nice listen man. Another cool effect you might want to experiment with, is the one where it sounds like the artists word arrives before the actual word kicks in. I don't know its technical term, but its like a reversed reverb.

Ite Fam, Let's See What You Bring This Time. . .First Off, I Like The Environment This Beat Is Setting Up For. Dude On Tha hook Seems Deep Southern To Me. I Like It. Ya Flow Is Getting Better, I Can Hear That You're Riding This The Best Outta All Your Other Tracks. . .Some Great Lines Man!, You Been Steppin Up. . .I Got Sum Decent Quotables From U Here "Wont Chase You, Never Been A Sprinter", "Revolve Around The Sun, You're The Center", "Ready to explode Like A Nuclear Reactor", "Thought That You Loved Me, Just An Actor". . .Good Shit On That First Verse Fam. 2nd Verse Came In Forced. I Can Tell He Dubbed Up, They're Slightly Off. His Flow Does Fall Off Too. . .Good Concept With That "Big Apple-Core" Line. I Hear What Punchd Meant Bout That Skip At The End. It Was a Good Attempt Fam, Lol, Can't Lie. You Prolly Did It Better Than I Could!. . .Deff Your Best Track Yet.

^ thanx appreciate it a lot and yeah jus been takin all ya advice n tryna improve myself everyday

dude on the hook sounds drunk man.. good lyrics but its a lazy delivery.. i got friends that want to be on tracks with me but just need to practice before they can start being good... and just cant tell them no haha.. you had the presences but what Marvin said is that it was riding as it should.. you definitely got better since the first time i heard you