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http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/catch ... ml#p161763

http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/topic ... ml#p162229

The gun cabinets in the bedroom but i'm in the basement/
Two flights of stairs might change my mind Must have patience/
I'm still waiting And I'm still talking to myself/
It helps//
but the opposite of wealth has me feeling the opposite of health/
its hell//
The guns still in the cabinet still thinking bout grabing it/
Life threw me a curve and I ain't in the habit of having it/
I take the first step stairs never seem so steep/
As i glare up never having to think this deep/
the step creaks every sound is amplified/
I guess that's the brains reaction to knowing it's about to die/
Reached the first floor Heart begins to beat a little more/
Ever increasing realizing now my mind is my pretador/
Is there a cure why am I so sickened/
Why go for the second floor when there's a knife in the kitchen/
Wrap your hands around the handle pull it in and stab with it/
The gun's the way to go and it waits in the cabinet/
The second floor approaches as i escalate/
My life an empty plate so no reason to hesitate
It's getting late the last few seconds felt like hours/
Darkness arrives as the sun's getting devoured/
Life is sour never took the chance that I had with it/
So theres only one way out the gun in the cabinet/
It stands before me towering taller than it's ever had/
Whatever man it's just a cabinet reach for it with my hand/
The dial spins so easily after all this contemplation/
..."DAMN" I forgot the combination/
I take a breath
-
-
-
-
I'm in the cabinet waiting ever so patient/
Whats taking him so long I hear him crying in the basement/
He's probably in his usual unlaundered apparell/
Doesn't matter It'll be blood soaked after my friend exits the barrell/
No one to bid him farewell except me and my bullet/
picturing his finger on my trigger and the pleasure as he pulls it/
Hes been conteplating this for days probably for weeks/
my excitment is rising now im hearing the steps creek/
He's in the kitchen thinking that a knife could be the end/
He'll change his mind he always does I am his only friend/
He shouldn't pretend or second guess he shouldn't chance it/
I'm perched in perfect stance and still waiting in the cabinet/
I have it all the answers to all of his questions/
no second guessing he's coming to talk to the wesson/
my lesson's simple and it will be over in a bang/
no more doubts, no worries, no more head to hang/
he's getting closer his right outside the door/
a little more just open it im beginning to bore/
yes the dials spinning oh thee anticipation/
wait he stopped DAMN... he forget the combination/

This was a clever drop. How you did it from two perspectives. Flow was pretty good for the most part. There were a few questionable rhymes like "had" and "hand", also "chance it" and "cabinet". Did a pretty good job of building anticipation. I'm not sure how I feel about the ending. It kind of went from a tense contemplation of suicide to a bit of comedy relief.

my lesson's simple and it will be over in a bang/
no more doubts, no worries, no more head to hang/

^fav lines right there.

Overall, a decent drop. Looking forward to more.

Hey man i really liked this i agree with kau on a few little points but really for a written its great, u had me playin the story out in my head.

I take the first step stairs never seem so steep/
As i glare up never having to think this deep/
the step creaks every sound is amplified/
I guess that's the brains reaction to knowing it's about to die/

^^^that really hit me its like u cpuldnt hav explained it better.

Great written def keep posting

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This was good shit. Lyrically it was on the basic side but had a few multies sprinkled in for flavor. liked the imagery and detail, I thought it was thorough in that aspect. Cool story, like the concept of the two different view points. Very solid drop.

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No one to bid him farewell except me and my bullet/
picturing his finger on my trigger and the pleasure as he pulls it/


COOL SHIT MAN ^^

liked this piece!