Hip Hop Forum

blokB:

If i wanted to be human could it be done in a wish?/
Na, i have no spirit, my emotions come from a chip/
bones not skeletal, the ore of metal was plentiful/
1000 times stronger than steel and 1000 times as flexible/
humans a weak thing, dont understand you, feel pain/
and have to do pointless tasks to survive each day/
so am i alive...my vast databanks cant debate this/
when an iron-clad will is the material im made with/
some lab components birthed me, no pain involved/
just a cpu with processors that had my brain installed/
an A.I voice automater that slightly gifted my speech/
so the latest techno magazine had pictures of me/
still theres a hole in my mind the way a soul is defined/
man-made, but if have dreams.. then i know im alive/
im hopeless to die, my vessel conquered mortality/
but I'm living the rest of my life drawn in formalities/

PunchdDrunk:

skin over my muscle tissue pressed with issues/
life Ive missed you but I'm stressed with miss use//
if use was miss strewed forgive my attempts/
a machine feels no love, but I'm filled of regrets//
so does that sep-arate me from them? my position?/
fun's an emotion but I'm numb in its opposition//
lost in translation like a Pakistani kid/
I'm looking for a home where the devils don't live//
I give. mechanical feelings placed inline for me/
the same way life's a bitch in my dreams and chases me//
I awake in confusion the delusion being why am I fleeing?/
I'm loosing myself but the programming's already running//
I'm gunning for the door loosing the lighting/
fighting the crowds like clouds with lightning//
I'm proud but dying the sound of crying is frying/
my circuitry echoes like an eternity hurting me//

Kau The Lion:

I was born of many minds on an assembly line
In a room of humans feels like behind enemy lines.
The only friend of mine is a random appliance.
My school days were known as quality compliance.
I hold no alliance but to my programming language.
I hold no devotion to a soul and it’s anguish.
Behold as I languish in an existential nightmare.
Blessed to live forever, the rest of it ain’t quite fair.
Doomed to live forever and observe the end of days.
I can’t be turned off; humans can’t mend their ways.
My flesh is burned off in the heat of the fall out.
Cold steel exposed and my circuitry calls out.
But I cannot appease it, just pick up the pieces
That I need to create the mechanical Jesus.
Each day I wade through, collect and discard.
The vast junkyard that’s become my front yard.

I like the concept of the piece. All 3 verses had a dope flow to them. I was noddin' my head as I read them. All were on the same level with dope rhyming and the way y'all came at it. Sick...I kept thinking of the movie "I, Robot"...

BlockB:
still theres a hole in my mind the way a soul is defined/
man-made, but if have dreams.. then i know im alive/

Punch Drunk:
skin over my muscle tissue pressed with issues/
life Ive missed you but I'm stressed with miss use//
if use was miss strewed forgive my attempts/
a machine feels no love, but I'm filled of regrets//

Kau:
Doomed to live forever and observe the end of days.
I can’t be turned off; humans can’t mend their ways.

...dope drop peoples!!!

[ Post made via Mobile Device ]

Blob Be

If i wanted to be human could it be done in a wish?/
Na, i have no spirit, my emotions come from a chip/
bones not skeletal, the ore of metal was plentiful/
1000 times stronger than steel and 1000 times as flexible/

damn good man. Rhyme scheme is on point. The chip line is dope

humans a weak thing, dont understand you, feel pain/
and have to do pointless tasks to survive each day/
so am i alive...my vast databanks cant debate this/
when an iron-clad will is the material im made with/

i like it, but your first bars were better.

some lab components birthed me, no pain involved/
just a cpu with processors that had my brain installed/
an A.I voice automater that slightly gifted my speech/
so the latest techno magazine had pictures of me/

last line is cool. Rhyme scheme is getting weaker, but the story is getting better detailed, so its a good exchange

still theres a hole in my mind the way a soul is defined/
man-made, but if have dreams.. then i know im alive/
im hopeless to die, my vessel conquered mortality/
but I'm living the rest of my life drawn in formalities/

solid ending, rhyme and story detail picked up here. so all in all pretty solid man.


Kau the Kitten

I was born of many minds on an assembly line
In a room of humans feels like behind enemy lines.
The only friend of mine is a random appliance.
My school days were known as quality compliance.

solid rhyme scheme, and story telling. Quality compliance and school are pretty cool use.

I hold no alliance but to my programming language.
I hold no devotion to a soul and it’s anguish.
Behold as I languish in an existential nightmare.
Blessed to live forever, the rest of it ain’t quite fair.

the flow on this last line fell of for me, but still cool none the less

Doomed to live forever and observe the end of days.
I can’t be turned off; humans can’t mend their ways.
My flesh is burned off in the heat of the fall out.
Cold steel exposed and my circuitry calls out.

damn solid man. Not much i can say, but damn good.

But I cannot appease it, just pick up the pieces
That I need to create the mechanical Jesus.
Each day I wade through, collect and discard.
The vast junkyard that’s become my front yard.

awesome ending, mechanical jesus, lol. All in all, very nice view on a machines thoughts

topic was a good one, nicely displayed by both parties. Solid effin drop both of you

I must say, I dig the topic and idea of the piece, first and foremost. I also really liked how everyone had a solid flow, and the flows seem to come togetther. I thought more wordplay could be involved in something like this, and saw very little to none throught the piece. The imagery was really good, and some of you spoke about the same things, like not having feelings, but still branched it out on your own as well. Over-all this was very well written and came together nicely. Good job on this one guys.

great concept fellaz , was a nice read .. but nothing spectacular!!



thought Kau had the best verse!


uppin

This Was The Dopest Bar Out The Whole Piece, Otherwise I'd Scrap Everything Else And Start This Collab Over.

If i wanted to be human could it be done in a wish?/
Na, i have no spirit, my emotions come from a chip/
bones not skeletal, the ore of metal was plentiful/
1000 times stronger than steel and 1000 times as flexible/

thanx for feeding fellow emcees. personaly.... i think this is a raw piece. Kau... you came hard bro. you took the idea to another level. nice imagry. nice wordplay. nice everything bro. damn! punchd.... i mean punk..... lol, imagery, multies, metaphorical value.... all top notch bro. u guys made me look silly in my opinion. none the less. i feel like a GOD DAMN ROBOT NOW! hahaha. thanx dudes. i know i shouldnt be feeding our own piece but realy guys, as a new writer, im proud of this. to punk (punchd), and kau, thanx for doing this with me. realy guys i didnt expect it to become what it is. to all who read. thank you for taking the time to read. i dont care if you liked it, hated it, or plagiarised it. thanx for simply reading our piece. one love and all that stuff.
blokB