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"American Soldier In WWII That Discovered One Of The Jewish Prison Camps"

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Unlimited Bars
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Due 48 After your Check
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Cats:
Creativity
Relevance
Complexity
Flow

Overall

Good Luck Orfadox

American Soldier In WWII That Discovered One Of The Jewish Prison Camps

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This is my check, I only found 1 open battle wthat didn't need to be modlocked, but by the time my verse is up, I will edit this post to contain my other Vote. Waitin on Orf's check to start writin.

Riggz vs Quix
Quix vs McMurk

Checking in

[ Post made via Mobile Device ]

{Intro}
The battles over, the trumpets Sounded
We break down the gates, got the place Surrounded
Throw high fives, pump our fists and Pound It
The cheers die down.. Despair... we Found It
...
(The Grounds)
The scene I saw stole my Breath, an entire race, so close to Death/
Spirit stolen.. no fear, no Hopin, ribs pokin, exposed through Chests/
Never seen a sea of weaker peeps, I drop to knee and beg God to Bless/
Their souls.. but the prayer won't come, there's no words in any Tongue/
No phrases or language to express the damage that's been Done/
It's like facing the Reaper, but he ain't here to collect, it's more like his Birthday/
Hitler's hatreds so blatant an I hate to say it, but I'm fearing his Wordplay/
I'm feelin my nerves sway, I can't breathe through this lump in my Throat/
Then my captain orders me to search the compound, so its off I Go....
....
(Dream)
They're shambling, rambling, I'm watching a swarm of Corpses
Heading for freedom, barely breathin, filled with a forgotten Purpose..
They seemed so calm, but theres a storm just beneath the Surface
How do you get back home when you forget how to live your Life?
Streets shattered, blood splattered, and you beggin for a Knife
To end all the misery but you're only thinking about your Wife..
Ya kids, ya crib, fuck all that stupid shit, the kicks and Ice
All you want is a meal, so you can fuel the Fight...
I couldn't do it, I'm half the man of the boys we Carted Off...
I saw it all, from dusk to down, soo many kids just Slaughtered Off
This is my horror of my dreams, the memory of the Holocaust...

Aiight Sorry Man Been Abit Busy Lately..Gimme Till Tomorrow Latest Saturday And Il Have My Verse Up

-- Sat Jan 29, 2011 11:24 am --

Imagine All Your Nightmare's Happening,Well I Was Right There Witnessing
Dirty Krauts Hitting Kids,Now Let Me Know..Can You Picture The Scene
Shots Rang Out It Was Horrific,The Suffering Of These Men,Children And Women
Cryin For The Dead Wishing They Wernt Living,Now How Were They Winning
Bodie's From The Gas Chambers All Around,The Stench Of Death Surrounds
The Persecuted Lay All Over The Ground,Time To Bring The Evil Regime Down

The Discovery

Charged In Like Knights In The Old Ages,Gas Masks Securley Over Our Faces
All Of The Squad Determined To Destroy Every Last One Of These Racists
Shots Ring Out Its All I Can Hear,My Bravado Tinted With A Hint Of Fear
More Rounds Fire Out Near,Its Clear To Me They Dont Want Us Here
But We Manage To Stand Our Ground,Advance Forth Till Its Nearly Last Man Down
Cheers Echo All Through This Town,As We Stumble In To The Horrors Around
We Take The Last Few As Prisoners Of War,Then My Commrades Advance To The Door
Release The Rest Of The Captive..There Never Gunna Be The Same As Before
Can Tell There Scared As They Emerge With My Fellow Crew
We Try To Reassure Them..Make Them Beleive That There Ordeal Is Through
But For These Men And Women, The Real Nightmares Only Just Begin
Cos Its Ten Times Worst If The Germans Somehow Manage To Win

i think orf had better structure and i like the feelings that are conveyed
although both did well im felling orfs piece side note not big on the dream perspective
MVGT orf

-- Sun Jan 30, 2011 10:04 pm --

i think orf had better structure and i like the feelings that are conveyed
although both did well im felling orfs piece side note not big on the dream perspective
MVGT orf

Thanks For The Vote 1-0

Creativity: Sacred Verse took this because of his dream portion. He just stepped it up a little more with more detail on the guy who discovered it and his tourment.

Relevance: Both of you did an excellent job describing the scene, and its emotion.

Complexity: Orfadox took this because i felt he came with more vocab and a tad bit better rhyme scheme. My hat goes off to both of you none the less.

Flow: This was probably the hardest for me to judge. I had no problems what so ever finding a flow in both pieces. Orfadox gets this area simply because his rhyme patter is a little more in depth, so a solid flow would be harder to pull off. No discredit to Sacred Verse though, both were on point.

Overall: Both artists displayed good imagery, vocab, multys, flow, and creativity, but in the catagories, Orfadox gets my vote by a little bit. Good job both of you.


+1 Orfadox

Thanks For The Vote And Thanks For Breaking It Down Man


2-0

Although I am a little skeptical about Leeroi's vote, I'll keep his if he follows the voting structure. As it stands, 1-0 Orf

(I'm not trying to sway or hate on you, I just don't trust people's votes if they don't bother to do a category breakdown. It makes me think they didn't bother to read the verses carefully or just skimmed it and that they're voting on the artist, not the art. If he edits it to include a category breakdown, then it will be 2-0)

Uppin on Votes!

Cats:
Creativity: even to me

Relevance: both had relevance to the topic so again equal

Complexity: SacredVerse helped set scene better with his use of vocab witch also helped his flow,

Flow: pretty hard to decide but id say orfadox

Overall: this is realy hard to decide, one of the closest ive seen in a while, but this kept apealing to me on every re-read of each verse:

The scene I saw stole my Breath, an entire race, so close to Death/
Spirit stolen.. no fear, no Hopin, ribs pokin, exposed through Chests/
Never seen a sea of weaker peeps, I drop to knee and beg God to Bless/
Their souls.. but the prayer won't come, there's no words in any Tongue/
No phrases or language to express the damage that's been Done/

in my opinion sacred wins this, but both came hard making it extremley hard to vote on,

Aiight Thanks For The Vote 1-1

I've read threw both verses a few times an liked both the drops but orf verse did gave me a better picture if what was happening

Creativity is a tie not one of use came with predictable shit

Structure I give to orf was an easier piece to read

The flow I give to orf sacred wasn't far off thou

If use wana detailed breakdown for my vote to count holla
Mvgt orf

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Thanks For The Vote 2-1