Hip Hop Forum

I swear it flowed perfectly in my head, fuck my breath control.

[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=grd0XimhzsY[/video]

Download: http://hulkshare.com/wsjsi9ypokfz

http://www.facebook.com/SentusMusic7

Sentus- White & Blue

This is for the white and blue, for my brothers hard as steel
So when they're on Harmon field that you know I'm fightin too
Ignite ya crew as I'm spewin flames inside the booth
I abuse the game cause I choose to reign with violent brute
This divine spitter climbs quicker cause I rhyme sicker
Your heart's big but don't start shit cause mines bigger
I'm wreckin beats till legend's seen on my plaque
So watch closely and see me etch my dream on the pad
And if you're lucky I'll let you stand in the glow
Or you can be just another victim stranded below
One hand on my pencil, one hand on my throat
As I carve my darkest fears in this canvas of hope
Cause nowadays any kid'll start rappin at you
But only a passionate few are really graspin the truth
Who can say they have their heart attached to the booth
And vow to spit till they're out and hit the max of their youth
This is more than just music; it's the core of a movement
To revolutionize thought and restore all that's prudent
But life's a bitch, so I grab the whore and abuse it
You do the same and when you listen ignore the pollution
And how dare you come up to me and talk about Wayne
Every time you speak it seems like I'm crossin out names
You were so caught in trends you forgot about change
And now we wonder adrift, lost without aim
But I got the map in my hand; firm in my clutch
And this has never once been about earnin some bucks
It's about forging a dream with the birth of a trust

http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/this- ... 20226.html
http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/ain-b ... 20206.html

I really like this beat.. its way sick.. you had some good lyrics.. good delivery, i heard you fall off a couple times and then at the end you slipped up.. other then that its a good track.. you got the full version of this beat?

D/L The Beat On Frostwire Or Sumthin, It's Wiz Khalifa-Black And Yellow Lol

Anyways, I Think This Was A Decent Track Man. Quality Is Pretty Good. Sumtimes Tho, I Feel Like You're Forcing Out Your Words. Breath Control Man. Like I Sed Before, I Can Help You With Punch Ins If You Need It. Multi Wise, A Few Seemed Force, But I Think That Was Due To Delivery And Not On Account Of The Actual Words Being Forced. I Also Felt You Stretched Sum Syllables Too Long. Ok, So Enuff WIth Wat Needs Improvements, Lemme Focus On Tha Good Shit. You Had Sum Nice Lines In This Joint. . .A Few Quotables

"Ignite ya crew as I'm spewin flames inside the booth
I abuse the game cause I choose to reign with violent brute"

"And how dare you come up to me and talk about Wayne
Every time you speak it seems like I'm crossin out names
You were so caught in trends you forgot about change
And now we wonder adrift, lost without aim"

^^-Really Enjoyed How You Delivered That. The Pause Right Before The Final Word Made Me Anticipate The Rhyme Before You Said It. Really Good Effect On The Listener.

Overall Man, I Think This Is A Good Track, Just Sum Polishing Up And It Would Be Much Better!

just listened and read all comments and yeah i do agree with em man just a few little things like ur breath control.

I swear it flowed perfectly in my head, fuck my breath control.

^^^see? u know it lol na atleast u no wat u need to improve on dude it just comes with practice. try to allow yourself enough of a pause to get that air intake b4 u spit the hard lines. anyways i loved this track all in all.

my fav line is probably:
"This divine spitter climbs quicker cause I rhyme sicker
Your heart's big but don't start shit cause mines bigger
I'm wreckin beats till legend's seen on my plaque
So watch closely and see me etch my dream on the pad"

keep it up man

Thanks a lot for the feed guys. Hopefully my flow and delivery is getting better.

i thought it was decenet and yeah def work on breathe control but you'll be their in no time. i keep elevating little by little jus take ya time n see exactly what you want it to sound like

BEat was NICE and i really liked the creative rhyme scheme here.


keep doing yah thing man and stay active ya dig?

Thanks guys, I'll deffinitely stay active