Hip Hop Forum

i aint tryna be a millionaire,but i needa use a life line
cuz hard times got me thinkin,there aint a life like mine
so even tho im left handed, i aint in the 'right mind'
tryna chase my dream, and if i gotta fight fine!
ill do what i gotta do, so u'll see my light shine
in this unforgivin hell hole lemme tell u yo
my homies say 'tee' u aint given up? O HELL NO
i invested to much time tears and pain
talkin 2 god about my fears standin in the rain
askin if in years, ta come will i be in the game?
or will all the peers, i once knew be the same?


Might Add More...what yall think? leave sum feed plz..-1-

Nice "so even tho im left handed, i aint in the 'right mind' "

if i remember your old drops, you getting alittle better. You used some multis, which was nice, maybe try incorporating some more. also, you NEED to up your vocab. When you up your vocab [and im not taking huge words you use just to use a big word] it makes your rhymes better. You had a pretty nice flow, but could have been better. also, the subject matter was ok, but its kinda played.

main pointers:
- try different, more original topics [but still make it real]
- add some more multis from time to time
- WORK ON VOCAB


also, check out my drop 'Multis Multis Multis' and return the favor.

to ad what 8th said, work on saying shit more creatively you can write about the same topic as somebody else but if you do it with a different approach it'll be dope if its done right

and btw, work on your wordplay, a million rappers have said something similar to that right/left line