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"Together"...fixed version

Posted: Fri Nov 10, 2006 3:52 pm
by Borat
Finally!...i did it, i cracked the alphabet, scrambled it, and served her "love" for breakfast...in Bed, she would find my heart beat and bob her head to the sound, like a new age love song but that day's gone...

Now its off by sunrise to catch the morning train...these day dreams of me and her, defer my chance to catch a wink of sleep,Guess its off to work to get that pretty pennie she always asked for... maybe it will be my lucky day, i'll go home and say...

"i brought home the bacon...now kiss the cook"...such a long day, but with this second look i find humor in the fact that the "Nights still young" and we're still here "growing older"... 'together'

Posted: Wed Dec 06, 2006 10:14 am
by 8th
that was good man. I dont know why no one has dropped feed yet.

"i brought home the bacon...now kiss the cook"...such a long day, but with this second look i find humor in the fact that the "Nights still young" and we're still here "growing older"... 'together'

^best line. I mean, favorite out of the basically three. There was a good amount of emotion, and i really like the 'nights still young' but were 'growing older' turn of phrase.

good stuff, keep dropin...

Posted: Thu Dec 07, 2006 3:12 am
by Borat
Thanks For The Feed...uppin

Posted: Mon Dec 11, 2006 4:28 am
by -TraMaTiK-
feelin this whole thing dude..shits deep...i might drop sum of my poems idk..but keep doin ya thang..nice imagery...-1-