Hip Hop Forum

[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uaaxg5EENOM[/video]



the street lights glisten, as i drive thru the city
lookin at the scenery i gotta say its real pretty
but damn i feel shitty cuz this ride is real empty
im not talkin about the gears shiftin
or the wheels spinnin, are you catchin the drift
this ride is manual drive but i've never used a stick
passin intersections, as im smoking a spliff
tourin thru the ocean hopin to catch that one fish
i aint sick, nor im desperate hold on
im trynna find the best women with her clothes on
these hoes are nothing but trouble and drama
and they aint for a man who believes in karma
i was caught up but i got up i was livin a lie
i thank god, cuz he tought me not to judge with my eyes
but shit, now im sittin bumpin pharcyde
and wondering if she's that one passin me by

i-i-im on that lonely road
and i, wonder how long i got to go
before, i arrive to my destination
this drive's designed to be aggrivating
but im waiting, patiently
to be sayin to her you're the one for me
im only heard, when i spit on these beats
so i hope these words, are the kiss on her cheek

i find beauty in a dime, she aint no pocket change
i find beauty in a mind, when she do it her way
me and her could be like miles and coltrane
the milage is worth it when i see a smile on her face
chill at my place slow down the tempo
block out the rat race, happenin outside the door
in the midst of snow we heatin up like candles
the night never seems to end time is at a standstill
dumpin all our thoughts out like landfills
man who would've guessed that life could be so tranquil
im thankful but i dont think that she is
thinkin im another mother fucker playing dirty tricks
i guess life's a bitch not only to me
all these girls gettin crossed up bleedin heavily
but i promise, i aint like these mother fucking guys
i know she dont listen, but hopin that it aint a lie

i-i-im on that lonely road
and i, wonder how long i got to go
before, i arrive to my destination
this drive's designed to be aggravating
but im waiting, patiently
to be sayin to her you're the one for me
im only heard, when i spit on these beats
so i hope these words, are the kiss on her cheek

This is pretty good man. You got some nice imagery and emotion laced in here. Your rhyme scheme and vocab should be elevated if u want to bring this to another level. Overall, this is a good read, but yeah flow and vocab could use a bit of improvement.