Hip Hop Forum

alright so i wrote sixteen bars to this beat my boy made. im feelin it. hope you will too. i dont have recording capabilities right now so i cant record it at the moment but i figured any feed is better than none. if anyone wants to rip the other sixteen just say the word, im about it. itll have to stay as a written piece for now untill i get a mic but i do plan to record this......... (unless feed-back is horrible) lol

verse start/ :36


Dirty Mirror

take a look at me tell me what do you see
a bag of mixed nuts seekin therapy
a stack of pin-ups stickin terribly
or a mac that cant define the word merrily
aparrently, im scared to be
anything accept my transparency
so when a blind man tought me that my stares are free
i started storin em behind my thought of heresy
yo bare with me, i guarentee
if you can get passed me dancin all wearily
youll find that blok b is just a fuckin parody
of your favorite emcees hip hop revelry
and no ill never be what you want from me
still i climb to these heights to bring you every beat
with a verse full of who my dirty mirror sees
before a streak free shine leaves me vision free
shit tends happen that dont mean i play with it
wits end with rap still its to the grave with it
known around my blok as the childhood cynic
cause i used to toss rocks at over faulty genetics
my aesthetics seem rare today its fair to say
prosthectis on my tounge force a rarer praise
cosmetics overdone endorse reverse delays
try to hide it under sheets cheap logic portrays
wander the maze of my own insecurities
when lost google world can lead to maturity
i wana break free of transparent obscurity
swim through the grey of sentimental impurities
today im sure to be what you thought me to be
a trainee to reign with burns third degree
with sights set high lost in turn yearn eternity
question still stands have the worms even heard of me


blokB
12-23-10/12-24-10

This is a pretty dope drop, the multies were there and the emotion was there too. This is a personal drop so i can't really critique that much, just keep writing from the heart and elevate.

good shit,

Nice drop Blok, u definitely got lots of potential. The flow on this was on point throughout, and though it did feel forced at times, the consistency of it kept the interest. You use your vocab well, which is def a good thing. I'd like to hear this as an audio when u get a chance, think if it the right beat and right delivery was matched with the lyrical content here, it'd be a real dope listen. Keep writtin' man, without a doubt ur one of the newbies on this site that everyone should be keepin an eye on. I appreciate that u got some talent in beat making and in writing solid lyrics, keep up with both, each art form can enhance and bring out the best in the other...

thanx for taking the time to feed this guys. im more stoked on the beat than the verse but i am my own worst critic aswell. as far as a 7 out of 10 goes, damn, thanks dude. thats one hell of a compliment man i massively appreciate it. feed back from you guys raises my level of inspiration to be honest. so thanx all. much love.