Hip Hop Forum

Stay away, keep that lackadaisical haze at bay
See im the type to paint some shame into the way you crave the the rain
I strive for srtength instead of pain I try to blend some sane with fame
I try set a pace to win a race incase i space, damn gemini brains!
Okay? Today? Why you gotta play so many games?
Whyd you hang a tarp for shade when the forcast called for grey?
Why must you fuck and pluck what little trust my logic still contains?
Ill bet a buck its cuz you like me stuck in ruts of covered lanes
Either way my fight portaits rusted train tracks through a tunnel
I lust these dames that more today cause me mass amount of trouble
While I blame thy much too subtle aproach on delivery and high amounts of shivalry
to be the cause of what gets to me I realize most of all
i blame blokB and his god damn split personalities
known as the twin in minds body

Not bad man. I liked that other drop of urs I read yesterday better, but this was pretty solid in itself. The internal rhyming u got going on in some of the lines comes off smooth, and the meanings ur expressing are clear but still leave space for some reflection. Not bad man, keep writting, keep dropping....

good lookin IntrinsicCadence thanx for reading this. this one is weird to me though. for starters i wrote this in about 30 mins in a buddys outdoor shed on a paper plate (once again lol) while sitting around smoking and drinking. when i first wrote it i thought it was hard. then i re-wrote it from plate to book, wasnt as sure, made some changes and posted. but know im less sure i like it then before. i am my own worst critic so maybe i should enjoy the fact that i got my point across instead of bumming on it because its not my best work. idk man. either way thanx for taking the time to feed this bro. i appreciate the hell outa it man. stay up.

this was nice i felt like you could of done more with it though but overall a nice piece. good drop hommie