Hip Hop Forum

Alright there are no bars restriction rules, feel free to write anything oke, i,m about to drop my verse any minute now.

-- Mon Dec 13, 2010 7:48 pm --

Hypno:

You don’t want to start a war with the God of horrorcore. You don’t understand the artform at all you’re horrible. So i drop your mothers’s hot burned corpse in front of your door. Watch me summon a thunderstorm and bring hartless forces of darkness upon you. Death is coming So you better run cause i make you suffer more then Alex from Clockwork Orange. So make yourself ready for a bit of the old ultra violence. Leave you stuck inside a hospitalized box for life, a haunted asylum. Where horrifying docters will fry and demolish your mind with electroshock treatment, you,ve abandoned all reason and you don’t know why the heck you are breathing, you better of deceased and you hope that death wil come so you beg for the reaper because your lobotomized. And you better start eating because your starving in a bath of ice. You are deprived of your basic needs. You ask and crave for meat because you haven’t ate in weeks and you can’t just take a sleep because they force you to stay awake to see deranged creeps painfully restrain patients, brake their knees, make them bleed and rape them anally. Their nothing but monsterous martyrs of Godlessness, if you walk through the darkest pits of this hospital all you find are sodomized carcessess of psychologists. Cutting wrists with a carving knife screaming: i want to die ! please somebody stop my life ! cause it’s a lonely mess you’re so depressed that you’re hoping that God will strike you down and blow your head off tonight, so now you crumble as you fall to the floor and recignize that there is only one king of horrorcore and i got the right to the crown. And i have decided that you have to die so you better say your last prayers cause you get sentenced to death tonight. You get the chair with a dry sponge. And i will laugh with a devil’s smile as you get electrified and i will keep your head as a collecter’s item, may you rest in silence.


Ps: i want to drop my verse in another comment instead of the opening post, how do i do that ?

Imma Slash Ya Dome, Slash Ya Matter Past Ya Atoms Collapse The Host
"Your Going No Air", Your In A Tight Squeeze As The Gauntlet Grasps Ya Throat
(No Wear sounds the same if i said Know Air)
I Haunt Him Have'em Soaked In Pee,Blood & Stomach Acid, So The Ghost He Sees
Is Me Robe'd To Reap, Put The Sickle To His Eyes, From Sharpness He Chose To See
You Get Roasted Creep,.. Eat'n Like A Hostess Treat, Then I Skin Ya
We Talkin Cleaver Peal Ya Flesh Have U Breakdance U In Salt, Then Spin Ya
Douse'n The Fag Wit Sulfuric Acid, Laugh When Im Stab'n, Slash'n & Snagg'n
Grasp'n A Match & A Gas Can, Burn'em Alive, Eat'em Wit A Handfull Of Napkins
Ya Spineless Now, I Happend To Snap It, 13 Different Places With Rocks
It'll Remind You Of A Cage/Trivolta, The Way His Face Is Ripped Off
I Clown Ya Damn Soul, This Verse Eat'em Away I Gain lbs & Mass Yo
Til Nothing Remains But Bone & U Litterally You'll Be Down Da Ant Hole
Mandibles Latch'n Ya Flesh, Cut'n Life From The Eyes To The Brain
U Black Out,& When Chessnuts Be Roast'n On An Open Fire? This Guys In Pain


eh dont feel like drop'n loads but i dont see a bar limit so
gl

honestly i think phlebic won this... better multis and flow easily... punches were okay, the imagery was there... coulda came more grimey but it was aiight.

hypno - u used WAAAAAYY too many words.. that shit was a paragraph which had no flow... u had some multis in there but i couldnt grasp a flow, it was too wordy and too choppy. wasnt feelin ur horrcore wordage either... no hate


vote: phlebic

more votes please

Hypno, it was so hard to find your flow in that paragraph structed verse... Dude I went thru it three times and still had a hard time with it. You need to structure your lines so people can find your flow easier.

Phleb, you had good imagery throughout and your flow was pretty much on point, but I expected more to come out of your verse than I did. However, it was good enough to get the W in my eyes.

Vote-Phlebiac

word uppin

-- Tue Dec 21, 2010 9:38 am --

word uppin

-- Tue Dec 21, 2010 9:38 am --

word uppin

Hypno, everyone has already mentioned this, but I'll give you a little more insight.

When writing lyrics of any form (rap, song, folk, etc) you should structure your lines into AA/BB or ABAB or ABC/ABC or whatever the pattern is. All songs have structures whether you hear it or "see" it. Lyrics in paragraph form dilutes the content. In rap, it totally disregards the flow alltogether. This is lyric writing 101. You won't be able to win this or any other battle writing in this form.

Cat sweep goes to Phlebiac.
"Douse'n The Fag Wit Sulfuric Acid, Laugh When Im Stab'n, Slash'n & Snagg'n
Grasp'n A Match & A Gas Can, Burn'em Alive, Eat'em Wit A Handfull Of Napkins" - Nice bar Phle.

Thread closed and records updated. Phleb wins KO.