Hip Hop Forum

someone help me please ... i'm Not quite sure wut i'm supposed tah do
should i hold the ruge? ... or make great music and Compose a tune
better yet, why not prevoke some boos, fuck this, fuck that then expose a dude
but sometimes i just keystyle a verse, just show i can console the newbs
i never lie only hold the truth; but a fucking hybrid then sold the coup
seen many rappers and lot a fiegns; to escape my reality i got to dream
seen dope being cut, and crack being made,
money getting washed ... and chicks being raped
goons with the steal and nigguhs with a mask
seen bodies getting chalked from da triggers of a gat
witnessed bums getting beat ... the rich getting robbed
seen dealers get played with like the switches in dah drop
had spics steall dah raw...me and my dogs got it back
even seen blacks, whites, and porto rican broads getting slapped
seen police selling drugs, lawyers with a stash box
gangs full of thugs quick to snap you like a pad-lock
seen doors kicked in by the cops and the feds
nigguhz getting beat down and popped in the head
but now i look in the mirror ... try to change like a transformer
leave the thuglife and get a job as a transporter
better yet, i'll spit some more verses till you fully know of me
the way i'm amazing with the keys, and the dopest with the poetry

Alright, I can feel this drop. The flow is on point pretty much throughout, with some nice internal rhyming and good use of multis, starts to fade a bit at the end though. Appreciate the expression of true experience, makes me feel the content. The only thing I didn't really like about it was the last two bars. The flow kinda fell off in those bars, and I thought the 'transformer'/'transporter' lines were just generally weak, and ending it with a line that's basically just saying how dope you are takes away a lot from the content I think. But other than those last two bars, dope shit man...

I'm with I.C. on this. Nice flow and some witty punches throughout but I would expect more consistency in 10-11 bar verse. It seemed random at the end like you just wanted to hurry up and finish it, when it had so much potential of going in a more elavated direction.

I agree. This was a pretty good piece but you left a lot to be desired near the end. This seems like something you should make into a longer verse or a song because you can delve a lot deeper into the subject matter you were talking about instead of ending it abruptly.

The flow seemed on point throughout the verse. Only thing I thought could have been better (like everyone above me) is the ending to the verse seemed to falter..

Solid drop though.

your raw with the drop and simplistic which is not bad.i thought i caught some multi's in there which is cool.

enjoyed this piece very much.
stay up.
-knowconscience

Decent shit, seemed like some quick shit you just keyed up on the spot, but in any case the structure was on point, multies were present, subject matter was a lil' played but if that's how you really get down then by all means do you, stay droppin.

werd, thanks for the feed folkz. I'm a start dropin more writtens!

not bad bro. good read for a quick keystyle drop.