Hip Hop Forum

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jX5R1VSUNZo

^the beat i wrote it to^


I’ve been in and out of my day dreams
In the same way dirt makes gays scream
Abruptly hit play-scene-then, fast forward
Life’s meaningless unless you move toward
The light, right? At least that what they like
To say but I know different because the night
Walks astray line that I can’t mimic
If life has a purpose why am I stuck in a gimmick?
The image portrayed is a scrimmage delayed
By what I’m livin prepaid with soul and heart
Torn apart like a child in midst of a divorce
I wish like you do, I could shift course
Clip the umbilical cord to flip the available doors
The gravitational force law of attraction
Can kiss me ass, ill back hand slap it
Keep it a monster waiting under my mattress

this was ok....I didnt really get it...lol...I dont know maybe its just the mixture of pieces I read beforehand...either way most of the lines really stood out to me like the divorce, doors...and other lines a nice piece though...it had its momentum...until the end...it just stopped...but it worked in some weird sort of way....nice drop though my dude....keep writing

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Good lookin on the feedback man... It's like if you aint part of the cool crowd (mod's) then this place seems pretty boring. Thank you though. It just ended cuz my boss came in to my shop, and im technicly supposed to be saving the war one plane at a time lol.

This was ok but I'm not gonna criticize since you're rushing with your boss looking over your shoulder. The first half seemed to go with the beat emotionally. Finish this when you get a chance.