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Bout time i Did something

Posted: Fri Nov 03, 2006 10:16 pm
by MesaR
Pack a gat Stay Streched From Messed Clips Gapping Through Bodies Pusing and Penatrating
No School Im all ready failuring my Voice has Cracked its Just helium That im inhalin
Ill Swell upp and shatter ya back Bone leave ya cold blooded heading back 2 ya crack home
Im Young geting to my older faze ill smack crack and graze each of ya shoulder Blades
Drop integrity and Reduce your Lusture Ima DO The above And Carve freeflo into ur bone structure
i Keep Writtin telling myself i got potenital Az i Spill My Mind Out onto Tha Pad And The Lead Pencil
Ive Giving upp and Droped the Math Stenical Nothing is Wrong i only consider Rap substantial

Posted: Sat Nov 04, 2006 1:27 am
by ~Symbolikull~
nice drop man, keep em comin

Posted: Sat Nov 04, 2006 8:15 am
by Subsist
nice one dude , but cant you improve the structure a bit so its clearer to see where it rhymes for example
Drop integrity and reduce your lusture //
Ima do the above and carve freeflo into ur bone structure //
I keep writtin telling myself i got potenital //
Az i spill my mind out onto tha pad and the lead pencil//

Posted: Sat Nov 04, 2006 9:17 am
by MesaR
Thanks Ghost ok ill try That Next time Susbsist Any more Feed?

Posted: Sat Nov 04, 2006 9:52 am
by Viral
u were askin me about dis on MSN...i didnt kno u were gonna post it...i woulda gave it a final look...cuz there r some mistakes that could definatley be worked on...like failuring....its not a word...maybe failing...which also rhymes wit inhaling....other than that it was straight...i can see ur gettin better...hit me up on MSN wen u see dis...ill help u out some more n shit

6.8/10
u can only get better from here

Posted: Sat Nov 04, 2006 10:19 pm
by precise
word ^ yea i was givin him pointers at the time as well, precise tha human dictionary