Hip Hop Forum

This is the best opening rhyme ever spoke on a track
the dopest in fact, like every line's been smokin on crack

addicted to spittin and hopelessly devoted to rap
I'll never slack, stall or fall and you can quote me on that

a Poet with flash, flair and confidence to spare
If the beat is Goliath then I'm sling-shotting snares

the uniquest MC, whether or land or at sea
my poems roam with more bars than AT&T

I rhyme spectacular, I'm a mind capturer
got divine vernacular when I recite my literature

playing games on the stage, call it Grand Theft Audio
next I'm robbin' Netflix and I'm stealing the show

and this grand finale is bound to be an explosion of sorts
cuz when you process this nonsense you'll be choking of course

on this course of metaphors that I fed you without force
like my flow is drinking water and your ears are the horse

Okay I read this as a whole to see where you were going with it, and it seems more like a keystyle to me, so Ima give this a bar for bar break down.

This is the best opening rhyme ever spoke on a track
the dopest in fact, like every line's been smokin on crack

In fact, this isnt that good of an opening rhyme. There's no punch, no real metaphor, and the crack line- dope reference is played like air hockey

addicted to spittin and hopelessly devoted to rap
I'll never slack, stall or fall and you can quote me on that

Nice flow throughout the piece, by the way. This is a perfect example of that. Not much else but self hype though.

a Poet with flash, flair and confidence to spare
If the beat is Goliath then I'm sling-shotting snares

The concept is cool, but I think you could have used it alot better.

the uniquest MC, whether or land or at sea
my poems roam with more bars than AT&T

The bars- cell phone reference is also played to the maximum. Nothing too nice here.

I rhyme spectacular, I'm a mind capturer
got divine vernacular when I recite my literature

I didnt think this rhymed well at all.

playing games on the stage, call it Grand Theft Audio
next I'm robbin' Netflix and I'm stealing the show

This is more like it. Probably the best bar you have here, to be honest.

and this grand finale is bound to be an explosion of sorts
cuz when you process this nonsense you'll be choking of course

Could have done more with the imagery punch, if thats what you were getting at, but its always good to have those in a verse somewhere IMO.

on this course of metaphors that I fed you without force
like my flow is drinking water and your ears are the horse

This is something that seems out of place to me, more like it belongs to an actual topic piece.

Over all you have some great ideas with your lines, but you just need to develop them better. I suggest reading more battle verses in the battle forum and more scriptures from some of the vets on this site for an idea of how to develop yourself more. Keep droppin. One.

Ive got to say this was subpar compared to ur usual drops bro... there were a couple good lines and u had some dope multies in there but some of it seemed generic... like u were just making the rhyme flow and taking some sense away from it... never the less its above average against some of the pieces i read...

the uniquest MC, whether or land or at sea
my poems roam with more bars than AT&T

Good Meta On The Second Line... Shitty First Line.
As An Example...This Makes my Point... No Doubt Still A Good Verse For A Quick Drop..1

Again potential, but you got to challenge yourself more. Take those same generic lines and flip them or something. Make it sound more alive and more creative.

"and this grand finale is bound to be an explosion of sorts
cuz when you process this nonsense you'll be choking of course" - I swear I've heard this in a Dr.Suees book.

Again, i'll keep my eye out on you. I think you got potential man.

decent man.
a Poet with flash, flair and confidence to spare
If the beat is Goliath then I'm sling-shotting snares
nice.
peace