Hip Hop Forum

song could be heard spitten at www.myspace.com/slickaman1 its called what have i done
verse 1
What have i done ta have ta live my life this way/
why im frowned apon wierd when im tryna get paid/
all i hear is criticism about the music i make.
so i sit back n ponder with the blunt that i blaze/
im only human" so im bound to make mistakes/
I try ta give my girl the world but somehow im still ungreatful/
workin my life to death she don't see it in her eyes/
ima raging alcholic tryna hide behind the lies/
if you wanna take me now i won't put up a fight/
put the pistol between my eyes until all i see is light/
im tired and worn down i havent slept in 3 nights/
all i hear is stupid shit, she yells and she cries/
she doesnt trust me at all so why the fuck should i try/
ta even make things right, when shes stuck in her mind/
shes not seein the whole picture kinda like shes blind
but somehow she still attracts me when she says your still mine
chorusx2
sick of all the lies tired of all the misery/
lost the battle won the war called in the infanftry/
love kinda sucks when your fightin it this way/
so i gotta cutt her off and be on my way//
verse 2
do you really believe that shit are those real or fake tears/
im tired of all ya friends tryna fuckin interfear/
the put in their input but damn their never their/
their quiet when im around but when im gone their in ya ear/
tryna convince you that im wrong but im payin ya bills/
you could go ahead n step but my son's stayin here/
you neva let it go all you do is wanna trip/
you better grow up quick before im gone n thas it/
don't you see that im strugglin im mentally sick/
but when the moneys rollin in..you say i love you slick/
but i don't love you back so go ahead n pack ya shit/
get ya clothes n shoes togetha n get tha fuck out my crib/
all this drama gotsta end go ahead n stay wit friends/
n when they stab you in the back your back on the streets/
an when you strugglin everyday jus ta make ends meet/
go ahead n remember me n where you used to be/
chorusx2
sick of all the lies tired of all the misery/
lost the battle won the war called in the infanftry/
love kinda sucks when your fightin it this way/
so i gotta cutt her off and be on my way//

This was cool. I didnt listen to the audio, but I could feel the vibe that had thru the whole reading. Lots of emotion and stress put into this piece, and you did well portraying that. I like how the chorus is worded too, and it seems to fit this exactly. Keep dropping bro. One.

Ill lyrics here man. I can't listen to songs on myspace for some reason, so I didn't listen to the audio, but I can dig your words. The flow/rhyme scheme is relatively simple, but it works for this kinda straight to the point expression of experience. All in all though, this was a real solid written piece...