Hip Hop Forum

Song I Wrote A While Back... Just Recorded It Let Me Know What You Think...

the beat is sick... i dont know if its just me but i think the piano in some parts make you sound like you fall off, the hook sounds alot like the verse, your presences on this track is perfect for what you trying to bring.. its nice to hear you on audio again... This is a good come back track after you long time gone... good hear man...

thanx for the feedback... appreciate it

Yea, the presence on here was really nice...The chorus was good lyrically and emotionally but it didn't ride with the beat like I would've liked it too. Also the verse were a lil choppy, like you had a good concept, and gr8 lyrics but the presentation wasn't smooth. But if you fix those areas, it would sound nice, because you def. have the voice for it

this shit was dope homie

thanx for all the feedback so far.... can i get a lil more????

Enigma makes awesome beats. I hate the computer I'm on, because of this, but I want to say your voice should be a little bit louder. I'm not positive though because of the computer. Delivery is pretty good. Flow is nice, I'd like to see it switch up a little more though, this beat gives a lot of room for shine but you keep the same flow the whole way through. That's my biggest disappointment. Keep it up!

word... i feel ya on that... vocals could be turned up a touch maybe... thanx for the feedback man appreciated!!!

I like the talk at the beginning. Awesome beat, who produced? Sounds Joe Budden'ish

I thought you chose to write a weird flow to it. Your flow was tight but it was just a weird one over the beat. Good lyrics and I love the chorus. This is some good stuff. Your delivery fit the mood well and this whole thing was tight. I thought the 3rd verse had parts that should be rewrote that just slide off of the beat but I still like this song. Definitely one of my favorites on here.

The BEat Is Dope... The Mic Presence is good... i think it takes a lil more skill to put the emotion and slow it down... i heard some good multies in and out... the hook is aiight... i agree with clearing up the vocals a lil.. the first verse was better imo... good drop though bro... stay up

thanx for all the feed back... its appreciated...

i realy got into this. i could almost feel the desperation in your voice. i dig the emotion bro. nice drop

^^^ thanx man its appreciated...

like the beat it's got a nice smooth vibe, you've improved alot since i last heard you you're delivery and flow is pretty polished now & lyrics are alot better, your presence is good but i think you could vary in tones of your delivery a bit (get/louder and angrier in parts & calmer in parts) it kinda stays the same throughout the track except the part @ around 2 minutes & the end, those parts sound good but the regular parts get a bit monotone, also your enunciation and clarity could've been a bit clearer, you don't mumble or slur or anything but theirs parts where you drift off or slightly mush words together some thicker doubles could bring them out a bit, while your flow is solid theirs some parts where your slightly off on the kick you land a lil bit after it usually in the off parts, & also on the flow i can obviously see/hear the way you were trying to rock it with a marching type flow on the downbeats but the drums in the beat are a bit stiff so flowing like that on them gets a lil choppy/robotic at times, i think if you loosened up on the flow a bit & varied tempos slightly while staying in the pocket it'd make your vocals stick out a bit more and sound less static

also i think if you added some delay/echo on the some of the last words/rhymes of bars it'd sound dope & fit in well with the tone & vibe of the track

kinda typed a shitload didn't mean to babble or seem overly critical but you should be able to hear what i mean i think fixing the shit i mentioned will really improve the replay value of the track but as-is this is a nice drop & you've seemed to develop a polished style that works but some loosening up and variation of your style will make it a bit more catchy and increase replay value of your songs

you ever record to that beat you asked for awhile back? get at me on aim or msn sometime if your interested in collabing on something new i have literally hundreds of beat skeletons & unfinished beats i can play thru & find something up your alley & customize it, since you go to a studio i could hook you up with tracked out wavs or high quality mp3's so you could get the beat mixed with your vocals for a better result sonically

drunken jesus wrote:like the beat it's got a nice smooth vibe, you've improved alot since i last heard you you're delivery and flow is pretty polished now & lyrics are alot better, your presence is good but i think you could vary in tones of your delivery a bit (get/louder and angrier in parts & calmer in parts) it kinda stays the same throughout the track except the part @ around 2 minutes & the end, those parts sound good but the regular parts get a bit monotone, also your enunciation and clarity could've been a bit clearer, you don't mumble or slur or anything but theirs parts where you drift off or slightly mush words together some thicker doubles could bring them out a bit, while your flow is solid theirs some parts where your slightly off on the kick you land a lil bit after it usually in the off parts, & also on the flow i can obviously see/hear the way you were trying to rock it with a marching type flow on the downbeats but the drums in the beat are a bit stiff so flowing like that on them gets a lil choppy/robotic at times, i think if you loosened up on the flow a bit & varied tempos slightly while staying in the pocket it'd make your vocals stick out a bit more and sound less static

also i think if you added some delay/echo on the some of the last words/rhymes of bars it'd sound dope & fit in well with the tone & vibe of the track

kinda typed a shitload didn't mean to babble or seem overly critical but you should be able to hear what i mean i think fixing the shit i mentioned will really improve the replay value of the track but as-is this is a nice drop & you've seemed to develop a polished style that works but some loosening up and variation of your style will make it a bit more catchy and increase replay value of your songs

you ever record to that beat you asked for awhile back? get at me on aim or msn sometime if your interested in collabing on something new i have literally hundreds of beat skeletons & unfinished beats i can play thru & find something up your alley & customize it, since you go to a studio i could hook you up with tracked out wavs or high quality mp3's so you could get the beat mixed with your vocals for a better result sonically

To add on to this excellent piece of information...

A lil more emphasis on the hook (like a sample of an old skool blues or soul joint or someone singing a hook that you wrote) would go miles toward making this joint shine even brighter than it already does.I like this beat,I like the vibe that you deliver with your voice and presence,I like the "moodmuzick" lolol that you crafted here.

Varying your voice and the emotional punch of the tone,pitch,and energy IS CRITICAL here.Imagine if Beanie kept his voice monotone on "I CAN FEEL IT IN THE AIR". It simply wouldn't blaze like it does because he adds nuance,depth,layered feeling to each bar with beautifully timed pauses and real emotional punch in his bars that transport you to where he is.You're LIVING THE BARS AS HE SPITS THEM,he CREATES A SONIC SOUL JOURNEY and MOVIE EXPERIENCE FOR YOU WITH YOU AS THE STAR AND AUDIENCE MEMBER OBSERVING HIM GOING THROUGH THE TRAVAILS THAT HE DESCRIBES LYRICALLY.

You could do the same thing,dawg.This track has much potential in it.

This song would seriously benefit from a double/double,triple/triple rhyme scheme with smoother inners man. Youhit hard with your drops but you would have HURLED MEGATON HYDROGEN BOMBS if you amped the rhyme scheme and used more surgically selected vocab...and ESPECIALLY worked on sound manipulation and wordplay more.You'd kill em.

Think Eminem's I AM WHATEVER YOU SAY I AM combined with Beanie's FEEL IT IN THE AIR...or something like that.You'll feel me.

Got any more trax?