Hip Hop Forum

Ite, So I Redid This One. Changes Include No Tagged Beat, Better Hook, And Mixing Done Better. This Is Gonna Be The Mixtape Outro So Yeah. Enjoy!



THIS SHIT RITE HERE IS LIKE. . .SOME ANTHEM TYPE SHIT. . .LIKE, IT MIGHT BE THE END OF THA MIXTAPE TYPE SHIT BUT. . .IT AINT THA END OF ME! HAHA. . .CUZ I AINT GOIN NOWHERE SEE. . .IMA BE RIGHT HERE. . .AND I SEE YOU HATAZ. . .BUT U NOT SEEIN ME! HAHA!!!

HOOK:
NIGGAZ MAD CUZ THEY NOT GONNA SEE ME
AND THEY HATE CUZ THEY NOT GONNA BEAT ME
I OWN BLAME EM CUZ THA GAME IS KOSHER
BUT IT AIN’T SUPPOSED TA BE
AND THAT’S THA REASON Y I’M HERE TA TAKE IT OVER
NIGGAZ MAD CUZ THEY NOT GONNA SEE ME
AND THEY HATE CUZ THEY NOT GONNA BEAT ME
THIS IS MY BLOOD, MY SWEAT, MY TEARS
AND I BE GOD DAMNED IF I DON’T TAKE IT OVER THIS YEAR

VERSE:
I AINT GON COME ONTO THIS TRACK LIKE I AIN’T EVER SEEN TRICKS
OR EVEN SEEN FLIPS OF THAT EVERGREEN SHIT
BUT I WILL COME ON IT DEEP LIKE IT AIN’T EVER SEEN CLIQUES
AND LIGHT THIS BITCH ON FIRE WITTA KEROSENE TIP
I’M THAT ONE DUDE WHO’S RUNS THROUGH ANY OF HIS OBSTACLES
THAT SEMI FULL OF HOLLOW’S PULLED, SENT MANY TO THA HOSPITALS
NEVERMIND THA WEAPON THOUGH, KEEP IT IN ITS HOLSTER SEE
THE EYE OPENER OF MUSIC, SO NOW THE BLIND CAN NOTICE ME
MOST DON’T KNOW OF ME, SO THIS HERE IS THE INTRO
IN THE FORM OF AN OUTRO, THIS HERE IS THE TEMPO
ADD A LITTLE VOCALS, THIS HERE IS THE LENTO
MIX IT ALL TOGETHER AND THIS HERE’S THA CRESCENDO
YEAH I BEEN BROKE, BUT TRUTH IS I NEVER BEEN BITCH
SO IF MY WORTH IS IN MY WORDS THEN I’VE ALWAYS BEEN RICH
THE FACT OF THE MATTER IS, AINT NOBODY SHATTERED SHIT
I’M DOING THIS FOR ME NOW SO TELL EM TO GET MAD AT THIS!

HOOK

VERSE:
NOW LEMME TAKE YOU BACK TO THE START OF MY MOVEMENT
WHEN I FIRST USED A PEN TO PAINT THE ART OF MY MUSIC
IT WASN’T REALLY GOOD THOUGH, MORE LIKE A ROUGH DRAFT
BUT I KEPT MOLDING IT AND TURNED IT TO A TOUGH CAST
IT ALL BEGAN WITH A LOGITECH MIC
AND THE DREAM TO BE HEARD OR A SHOT TA GET LIKED
ALWAYS TRY TA SHINE, I GOTTA BET RIGHT
CUZ I’LL BE DAMNED IF I FAIL JUS CUZ I GOTTA GET BRIGHT
I PROBLY SET HEIGHTS THAT NOBODY CAN ACHIEVE
BUT THE GOAL IS TO CLIMB WHERE THE BODY CANNOT BREATHE
OVERLOOK THE WORLD AS SOMEBODY WHO BELIEVED
AND DIE AT THE TOP JUS CUZ MY BODY COULDN’T LEAVE
THIS IS ME, THIS IS EVERYTHING I GOT
THIS IS EVERY BIT AS REAL AS A HEAVY STINGING SHOT
THIS IS EVERY SINGLE BLOCK, PUMPING EVERY SINGLE DROP
OF BLOOD THAT’LL FLOW IF YOU EVER THINK ITS NOT!

HOOK:
VERSE:
I’M HERE TO TAKE IT OVER, STARTING WITH THIS WRITTEN FLOW
TAKE IT FOR MY PARENTS AND TAKE IT FOR MY BIGGEST FOE
TAKE IT CUZ THA PASSION IN MY HEART SED TO GET IT BRO
I TAKE IT THAT YOU‘RE MAD CUZ I DID IT AND YOU DIDN’T THO
OH YOU DIDN’T KNOW? THAT’S Y I DID THIS SONG TO
SHOW THE WORLD THAT I AIN’T SCARED TA BRING THE TRUTH UPON YOU
ANYONE THAT FEELS MY PAIN KNOWS THAT I AIN’T WRONG TO
PUT IT IN THIS TRACK AND BLOW IT UP JUST LIKE A BOMB DO
I AIN’T BOMB PROOF, MATTER FACT, I’M TICKIN NOW
BOUT TA PLANT ME ON THA GAME AND SEE IF I CAN RIP IT DOWN
YOU COULD SAY I’M TRIPPIN ROUND, BUT IN MY EYES, I’M TRICKING GROUND
AND I CA FEEL IN MY FEET EVEN AS I’M SITTIN DOWN
THIS IS MY TIME, BETTER SET THE CLOCKS BACK
SHATTERING THE SHATERPROOF SO CHECK TA SEE YOUR WATCH CRACK
EVERYTHING I DID IS FOR THIS MOMENT, SO JUST WATCH THAT
3. . .2. . .1. . .

awwww man this beats ill. good thing i didnt hear the first one. alotta energy in the hook dawg. your delivery is dope as hell dawg. mixin could be better, but its still better than alotta other shit. i really really feelin this shit ey. the hook is on some anthem shit. i dunno bout it bein an outro cus this shit has the energy to kick off the tape. this one would keep me listenin to the rest of the tape. you got that swag i like to hear. alotta feelin, alotta soul in it. your 3 verses are all pretty similar, as far as delivery goes. MAYBE jus a switch up here an there would keep the shit a lil more interesting. but thats jus me. overall man, this is nice. like i said, this shit has like an anthem feel to it. good work on this one

Thanks Bro. Good Looks On The Feed

[ Post made via Mobile Device ]

not bad man, shit went pretty hard. the mixing definitely could be tuned a little bit. when i read the hook ill be honest i didnt think it was going to sound good but you pulled it off. you held it down on the verses for the most part. there were a few times i couldnt understand what you were saying, just the pronunciation really. thats prolly my only qualm. but keep doin ya thing man, wordup.

Yo 2xS, this is a nice drop here. Lyrically this has got a lotta gems in it. Your delivery is solid, and the flow style is consistent. I think the flow could be improved with a bit of pace change up somewhere in the track. The hook has a couple parts that speeds up slightly, but the verses are always at the same pace. The pace isn't bad by any means, it makes it easy to sink into the process of the lyrics path, but after a while I kinda felt the constant pace could use some change up, especially since this beat has some parts that'd really match up well with a faster flow.
I'm with the others on the not using this as an outro idea. I think the energy on this would make this much better towards the beginning. This'd get the energy pumping and would kick off the mixtape with some fire.

Lol I Appreciate All The Feedback! And For Making It An Intro, IDK. . I'll Have To see How The Mixtape Pans Out Before I Do. I'll Probably Make It The Intro, But We'll See

Loved the intro. Chorus is pretty well done. Sounds great but I don't understand the kosher part. The beat is really up tempo and reminds me of boxing (idk why lol). Your flow is on point and your braggadocios delivery is nice, all layed back and cocky. Nothing really to complain about here. Great track, really alive.