Hip Hop Forum

u no da kid kickin it spliffin it,u wish u cud getta whiff of it
doin shit still persue'n shit,who wuddah thought i'd b rulin it
me wit rap u no i juz gotta be straight schoolin it
i look back at my rappin wonderin if its a gift
or a god act that musta happen,im on track yappin
bout gettin money in stacks-n-trappin
kats who packin gats laughin but hey dunno
i got tacks mappin,the placees they crashin
lookin 4 sacks wit cashn-n-blastin anyone
wit any gun without askin

gonna write more juz wanted feed...--1--

its decent. like i think i told you before, in some of it, the simple words you use make it seem for simplistic then it really is. The first couple lines, your rhymed everything with 'it'. You coulda make that section better, and it would have help the overall piece. And, at this point, i basically cant stand anything about guns and drug dealing and what not. You for sure need a more original topic if you want your stuff to stand out.

the flow started off alright then went dead

and work on bettering your vocab before you try to use multis cause alotta shit was forced shit, and the first few lines you kept repeating words

"looking for sacks with cashing-and-blasting"? - should've just said cash and blasting

and tacks and mapping? you're just focusing on finding words that rhyme instead of actually trying to make sense

work on your vocab and learn more words and you'll eventually be able to make sense and rhyme more than one syllable, just listening to ill music is the easiest way to up your vocab cause you'll subconsciously remember words in your head that you wouldn't typically use

its basic...i caught the flow...it could be alot smoother..and the whole verse was like a 4/10...if u keep up wit it tho ull get better...i can see da potential...u kno dere is a EVIL school...dat offers help..(ima teacher)...ill help u..like i told a bunch of other people..but no one IM's me...if u want..hit me up...my S/N is in my profile...