Hip Hop Forum

What's really good fam. I'm new to the site, although I been following for almost a good year on and off while still doing my own thing. I'm from the Midwest and joined the site so I can put my lyrical abilities to the test. Just looking for more feedback and to learn and work on my writing more. Hear's a little taste...

It's Tcross, the boss, here to put in work the best
garbage that I wrote gets tossed, n start over with the next
Just a spirit God's blessed, nothing more and nothing less
Some say I'm a mess cuz, chillin' with the tribe searching 4a quest
that I can work on, like getting my boy Cadalack Don to join in
Cuz we need more supporting Wisconsin than just Badger clothin'
That's why I got some'f my boys holdin' them big toys, big noise
louder than yo trunk bumpin' with them 808's in 15's poundin'
arousing your whole neighborhood at like 3 in the mornin'
Cuz without T, like not having me on a beat, these streets are boring
but if they feel, they probably will, skip it and ignore me
Cuz I'm just a spare wheel, for the flats & have only aged to twenty
so you think I'm foney...then come take this mic away from me
Just a kid workin on his studio, time to make music, and plenty
of it for the movement of Hip Hop bcuz deep down, it's in me
to give my peeps in this city the amusement, musicially

(just a little something I was feeling today. I kinda feel like adding and editing on to it...let me know how you think so far. Peace2)

Okay, without breaking it down bar for bar, let me tell you what I think. You have some good concepts when it comes to your bars, but without multi's, it seems like you flow is a bit choppy. I like how you structured the verse to help with that though. On a side note, your wordplay and punches werent really something I would call strong, but like I said, you had some cool ideas in there. My advice for now would be read some other stuff in this forum, let them know what you think honestly, and check it out bar for bar (every two lines) to see how their delivery is set up. You will be able to tell apart the people to learn from easily. Other than that, welcome to Illest, and keep dropping bro. One.

louder than yo trunk bumpin' with them 808's in 15's poundin'
arousing your whole neighborhood at like 3 in the mornin'

This A Descent Lil Bar Here..Good Flow And A Word Play Tied In

Yea Man U Def Have Something To Build On.. U Have The Rhyme Part Down And At Points It Was Flowing Well.. At Other Points It Fell Off Here And There. Just Peep Around And Feed On Other Peoples Work So That The Favor Is Returned.... Stay Active And Welcome To Illest

i feel what your saying homey, i didn't give this too much thought, i knew i had to drop something with the introduction so that's what was on my mind. Appreciate the feedback and I'll be dropping some more real soon. Feedback is all I'm looking for right now and the time to build my multis and flow more. 1