Page 1 of 1

The boy .. pt1

Posted: Mon Oct 04, 2010 1:30 pm
by pablo1212
-Theirs always that one quiet boy that never says a word
-His vocal skills are low bout he observes by what he's heard
-His silence speaks for him telling me that hes reserved
-But his writing is superb , which I think is well deserved
-Cause he piles what he sought , and he files up his thoughts
-He writes it down on paper with the style he has brought
-Rhyming every word in the manner he was taught
-Writing down the deatails at moments they were caught
-But lately theirs been something doesnt know why hes be feeling it
-He wants to remove the loneliness that hes been dealing with
-He wants to be different , and join in conversations
-Cause based on observation , hes starting to feel meaningless
-He uses all his old ways to change into his bold ways
-He looks around at everyone walking down the hallways
-Its jam packed as always but theirs noone he can find
-To spend his time talking to untill he looks behind
-Theirs a group of kids spittin , so he starts inspecting
-Each of em goes and spits a verse when their selected
-But he feels neglected so before he gets ejected
-He turns around to leave , but then he stands corrected
-Some guys from the group point to him and elect him
-They ask if he has memorized bars that he's invented
-Or any other lines , so he could project them
-Cause they want to know if he has talent undetected
-So as he starts spitting , the reactions unexpected
-But he keeps on flowing cause he likes that hes connecting
-Because he likes the crew and by the view they like em too
-A life changing event is what this boy is going through

[ Post made via Mobile Device ] Image

Re: The boy .. pt1

Posted: Mon Oct 04, 2010 2:45 pm
by Omega Bill
I really, really like this drop.

Good story, flowed pretty nicely. The slow chopped up at a few parts, and the rhyming was fairly basic, but for telling a simple story it was very cool how you brought it all together.

Good drop, man!

Re: The boy .. pt1

Posted: Mon Oct 04, 2010 4:55 pm
by IntrinsicCadence
Hell yeah man, nice story flow here. I pictured the story clearly in my mind as I was reading this, and related to the process of hip-hop building friendships and community. Glad to see this is just pt1 of this. I look forward to reading the next part...

Re: The boy .. pt1

Posted: Tue Oct 05, 2010 3:14 am
by pablo1212
Thanks for the feedback ... & i'l try to post pt2 as soon as im finished w/ it

[ Post made via Mobile Device ] Image