Hip Hop Forum

Well its tha Doggz unleashed, and outta tha yard,
Always on tha look out 4 suckaz tryin to act hard,
Put em to tha test and see if they do have heart,
See if dickheads can really finish what they start,
See if they're not jus dressed and actin tha part,
Anyone can play gangsta, but when tha time comes we kno if u really are...
Leave you with a reminder when you see that scar,
That you ain't like Doggz and neva will be on par,
Been there, done that, so i'm ready to take things that far,
Get rid of evidence by goin out bush n burnin you up in tha car,
I bring plastic geez to they're knees cryin n pleadin,
But I don't listen n stick em, leavin em lyin there bleedin,
If you'd thought I'd leave u alone, that was wishful thinkin,
Doggz hates fakes emceein, that kind of shit can get ur teeth kicked in,
U thought u was tha aggresor but ended up tha victim.....

it was aite... really nothing special if i wana hear this id turn on the radio.

Like AntiMaTTer sed ..... it was alrite , nd simple ... I think you shuld use some metaphors and punchlines to make this verse a little better ... the flow culd use sum improvement too .... but keep writin man , thats the only way to get better ... pce

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thanx 4 tha feed back guys......yea my one weakness is that i tend to make my rymez to simplistic.....oh well practice makes perfect no.....

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Yea i saw a lot of one syllable rhymes in there and a low level of difficulty in your rhymes.. nevertheless u have the concept down and that helps.. That streets shit reminds me of a few past members but as long as u keep it fresh and drop different topics you should elevate nicely... just peep the work of dudes that have been on this for a while and u should catch on pretty easily... 1

pretty simple rhyme scheme but the flow was pretty consistent. just try steppin up your bars man. keep doin ya thing.

Da ryhme scheme was str8 just that i think u should use abit more complex words and itll sound betta...but overall it was decent...keep it up my dude...expand ur vocab..ull see a bigg difference..stay up.

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I like your flow, no doubt. You seem to have some good imagery as well, but just like others have said, nothing really stood out to me. Ive read or heard many of those lines before, and you didnt have any wordplay or punchlines to help you delivery a more quality, jaw dropping verse. Keep at it tho. Read some battle verses from around here and some text pieces and drop some feed fam. One.