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the attic
Posted: Mon Sep 20, 2010 12:38 pm
by MohammedT
Once you own a home; early, sober and alone.
Political demogogry on a megaphone.
I have a heart that is made of stone
and garden full of gnomes.
A beautiful wife, who cherishes our poems.
The attic where our letters at,
is where i become the judas to my better half.
Re: the attic
Posted: Tue Sep 21, 2010 10:57 am
by QwarterZ
I see what you did here, this was some sick shit
especially for how short it was I was like wtf?
but then I kept reading and I was like oh snap
this fool is fucked up, but at the same time he's truthful
either way I'm diggin' this piece, it says so much
in so little...I like it, but wish there was more to it
dammit....this seems like a poem...but it seems...so...so
so Andre 3000-ish in a way...well to me...got a smooth flow
and at the same time it feels like there's more to it
DAMMIT...I hate this piece...but like it at the same time
Re: the attic
Posted: Wed Sep 22, 2010 7:48 am
by Kuhlerblynd
Yeah I felt this was more poetic as well, and I would really like to see you expand this out and really get further into your concept. I liked the imagery and who you approached this. Seemed like it could be a part of a really dope piece.