Hip Hop Forum

-Picking up my tools is the way that I got started/
-Slowly started loving the game when I put my heart in/
-Feeding off my verses so never was I starving/
-Never did I quit , I kept going like Favre did/
-I was gettin far in , regarding , my verses/
-Cause this curse to be the best was only harmin/
-Rappers stealing bread and the carrots I was farming/
-Im bringing in the snakes , & eating rabbits from the garden/
-Its impossible to pass these brick hard , raised walls/
-I was different in the past , but threw a change-up like baseball/
-I was bench , but now i make calls , like listen to me/
-Im way to nice to be spitting for free/
-I know you'll be missing me, im lyrically artistaclly/
-Paint pictures in your head , have you listen to me visually/
-But overall hard work got me close to all these far things/
-I just keep on pushing and pulling like guitar strings/

[ Post made via Mobile Device ]

Last bar was dope. It was alright for what it was, never had a problem with following the flow and the rhymescheme, but it was all pretty simple - nothing new said. With these drops it's better to spice things up with more similes and mettas (which u had, just not too much of) and punches. I don't have any real complaints though, it was simple, straightforward and u got ur point across. Keep droppin, I'd like to see what ur capable of.

Yeah, mines is pretty simple compared to other writtens iv'e seen. But thanks for the feedback

Seems you have a good grasp at how to use metaphors though. And grammatically you're on point which is more than we can say about some people.

Keep doing your thing.

"-Its impossible to pass these brick hard , raised walls/
-I was different in the past , but threw a change-up like baseball/"


Cool line.

This one was better then the other drop I seen
it stood out more and didn't seem like something you typed up on your phone
the other one seems like just a bunch of random lines saved up to use
but this one actually comes meshed together nicely, nice drop

I appreciate the feedback ... thanks.

[ Post made via Mobile Device ]