Hip Hop Forum

Lil Topical Key..Given The Date

Threaten Your Mind With The Reality Of Time
Look At Mines And Ill Blast In Sublime Like LandMines
Opressed Beyond Crimes I Crash The Fly Ta Survive
This A War In The Guise Of The Wise Ta Blow In Ya Eyes
Slowin Reaction Time, Retract The Minds Ta Plan A Demize
Adverting The Gaze, Supplies Ta Amaze The Merchant-Dice
Roll Snake Eyes And Bite Wit Great Suprise At Ungreatfull Pride
Its Dream State The Fate Of Virgin Wives, The GrapeFull Wine
Out The Plenty Vines Revised And Aged Out Da Ancient Times
Sustain Tha Faith In Crimes That At The Point Felt Was Right
I Start The Fight With Swings That Bear My Saviors Plight
A Warriors Right Ta Wear Arms And Yell Their Battle Cry
Be Proud Ta Die Cuz In My Mind Im The Righteus Side
The Selfless Martyred Kind That Blow Before They Time
Shift The Tide With The Moons Weight, Caskets Aligned
Causin A Full Eclipse Of Ya Shining Star In Da Darkest Skies
My Heart is Stong, My Mind Is Sharp Like My Senses High
I Vent This Essesnce Ride Ta Pretend Its An Endless Night
In Caves Ta Hide No Doubts Arise When My Faith Is Mine

Okay, the flow was on point, you had some cool imagery in there, but over-all I just wasnt feeling it homie. I mean, you could have done so much more, wordplay wise or actual story-telling type stuff, but in the end, to me, it seemed like you just threw a bunch of lines together that followed the same idea. It didnt really go anywhere. I expected this to be a sick piece, and Ive seen you write alot better. Its very cool of you to, in a sense, remember 9-11 though. Keep dropping fammo. One.

This was cool, I thought you had your rhymes down nicely brah
really kept me reading, for a topical it wasn't really what I expected
but at the same time it got a different vibe just locked into it
which I can see, not that well but maybe that's the point?
maybe it isn't, either way I get at what you doing with this one
you tryna embody the aspect, but you lose it a bit for the sake of rhyming
I know, cuz I've done that many a time, somedays it works somedays it don't
either way that's what makes us better, either way a dope lil' drop brah!