Hip Hop Forum

Cant Nobody See Me/ All I Want Iz Green Leaves,All I Do Iz Hussle Till The Morning Sky Gleamy/ Running From The Laws And Running Up The Porche Bill/ Eating At Lacosto's I Dont Need A Third Wheel/ Roll With 2 Women That Will Serve You If I Post That/ Gotta Get My Doe Back, Re-Up Iz A Whole Rack/10,000 Dollars If You Seen It You Would Know That/ It Anit All Sweet 40 Kal Push Ya Throat Back/ But Im On The Low Low/ Dippen On The Promos/ Yeah They Taking Flicks While The Weed Iz My Mojo/ Never Put The Pot On The Steam If You Work Slow/ Get Get Get It We The Team With The Work Though/ I Been On The Block Since A Teen In My Workmode/ Niggas Frontong Out Here, Me I Gotta Workload/ Hella Money Counting, Cant Slip By The Fountain, Even Though The Crib Got 1 Big By The Mountain...

I thought this was cool, kinda swagtastic
I don't know what you mean by running up the porche bill tho?
(shots fired)

either way I think this piece would come off cool as audio
the whole vibe was on some other shit, can't really say much
I mean you got the basis of rhyming down and being all bout yourself
dropping knowledge on the cats not IN the streets or whatever
but you know your doing you...keep it up....viagra

whack...

First, you sohould work on your structure so everyone can find your flow easier. I think that would be a huge start here. Also, I agree that this would probably come off better as an audio piece. Lastly, I get think feeling this is something you have written about before, and thats not expanding your horizons. Try to start with a fresh concept, fix your structure, and add some imagery to your verse. That would be a great way for you to start elevating. Keep at it fam. One.