Hip Hop Forum

9/01/10 2:53 in tha A.M. still writin
.
.
duckin an dodgin tha biters wound
eye'll C u later
to niggaz that wanna C me soon
eye am a ghost writer
only out in a foolz moon
in full zoom
listen'n to some MF Doom
stoped listen'n to Cyress Hill
when they droped Temple of Boom

its over
let it gover
Jayz'he
like tha Hove J Hova
Ja'hovas witness
you are if you get this
god'am'it
less eye deman'd it
evil I evil lie
let that lye rite where it landed

fake niggaz need branded
your brandz'dead
you must be high on bullshit
son your planes landed
when eye hear Drake'
eye sit down cauz eye cant stand it
you droped that line years ago
for sure eye damn did
yes eye can'did
spur of tha moment
no fan base cauze
my fans dead
need to replace the typical fan head
at a wack MC'z concert
cauz you demand it
god damn it
you cant relate to that life style
man shit
so far from a mansion
did eye mention
from wil with god intention
read tha fine linez
and Add to the Less'on
answers only come
when you request them
out loud ask tha qwestion
C for yourself
mywillineye stand even
not to b'less than
eye dont go to church
so eye dont b'less them

werd

Aight dawg if u tryna get people to feel ur shit a lil better, you gotta work on ur structure. I say this only cus ur writtens look like how i used write mine, which was how it would look on paper. And the first thing the vets told me was to work on my structure. Me personally, im an audio cat. Simply cus i feel i can express better on the mic. But goin back to ur scripts, u still need a lil work. Start makin longer bars.
Cus once it looks like this,
All choppy
And shit,
Ppl kno that u aint really
Puttin work
In ya scripts.

See what i did there? I "werded" it. Haha. Like i said tho im more on the audio so i wish i had better constructive critisism for u. Take a look at some of the vets' writtens. Trust me dawg itll elevate u faster. Unless u cool with where ur at. Peep scripts from like quarterZ, yezzir(toyh, he change his name alot but youll find him) plex, flip or mutual. Dudes always got perfect examples. Well, ive put my two cents in. Take it or leave it. Good luck with your future endeavors my friend.

[ Post made via Mobile Device ]

THINGS EYE NEED TO HEAR^

Ahhhhhaha werd up Loon and write on son
eyema peep thoze peeps out
god look'n on tha 2 cents
now eye've got too'scents change' pun intendid ahah
werd