Hip Hop Forum

Audio comin soon.... thought I'd refresh this shit and add a verse to it.

Feel like I'm cornered, what more can I afford to lose/
And the weeks are long when there's nothin to look forward to/
I'm sore and bruised, sweatin to earn these slave wages/
Nowhere to place blame when I'm making these late payments/
I hate changes, and I don't want no one to suffer/
And I'm bummed that my talent could go undiscovered/
My tongue is tougher from spittin all these bars and rhymes/
My heart is blind so music helps me through the hardest times/
Keep a sharpened mind and every day I take in stride/
To stay alive but I'm a dull razor, I'm just scrapin by/
But I may decide to say fuck it and risk it all/
Slowly inch and crawl to my dreams so I don't slip and fall/
I could be optimistic, at least I'm not in prison/
Never been shot and we always got a pot to piss in/
If I'm not persistent, then I'll never excel in life/
And if I can't do that, shit, I hope that 2012 is right/

Its like success is out of reach no matter how long you chase it/
Wish I could add up to somethin but I used the wrong equation/
Stay strong and patient, ready to jump when the time is right/
My mind is bright, but the world has it distracted like a blindin light/
Its hard to focus and the future is faint and blurry/
Waitin for my big break, wishin I could take it early/
I'm chasin 30, its only a couple years away/
So now I question if I can start a career this late/
I fear the day that I'm too old to hold a pencil/
And I wonder if I'll ever reach my full potential/
I'm close to vengeful, I feel like life is holdin out/
What you know about havin a cash flow like a frozen spout/
Hope and doubt has my attitude in a constant back and forth/
I want a piece of the pie but I don't even have a fork/
This is my last resort, but even if I don't earn a mill/
Until my urn is filled, I'll ensure that every verse is ill/

I didn't like this line particularly.

"I could be optimistic, at least I'm not in prison/
Never been shot and we always got a pot to piss in/"

I wish the punch was a bit better on this one.

"I'm close to vengeful, I feel like life is holdin out/
What you know about havin a cash flow like a frozen spout/"

Other then that, the continuous flow of this piece was epic. Shit just kept going like wind through an open field.

Dang rukus this shit was sick dude!

If this is for a track I can't wait to hear the beat
hopefully it fits the tone of this piece perfectly
I don't want to hear it on nothing wack, just something sick
I like how you kept the rhymes going tho' man, very smooth
nice vibe aswell, I just can't wait to hear the track tho'
really really dope...

I really felt this piece. Ironically, the lines that Plex pointed out were among my favorites. The flow was on point through out this whole piece. Can't wait to hear the audio.

"just like a dull razor scrapin by"

eye fukin luv it bro

and that waz jus won of many'

Werd

..

I Remeber the first verse.....the whole thing was tight.... now the second

Its like success is out of reach no matter how long you chase it/
Wish I could add up to somethin but I used the wrong equation/
Stay strong and patient, ready to jump when the time is right/
My mind is bright, but the world has it distracted like a blindin light/

Fucking way to start it off...these 2 bars are strong as they can be
Like the transitions in there...gives it fluidity... i can already hear the audio on this

I'm chasin 30, its only a couple years away/
So now I question if I can start a career this late/
I fear the day that I'm too old to hold a pencil/
And I wonder if I'll ever reach my full potential/

Wow.. Impact there bro....and its never too late

This is my last resort, but even if I don't earn a mill/
Until my urn is filled, I'll ensure that every verse is ill/
_________________

LOL...This Was Hot Bro... Nice Addition To The First Verse Here... i Find It Hard to Put A Piece Down The Go A Month Or Two Later N Add A Verse... But It Seems U Made It Happen Nicely... Would Like To Hear U Drop This... 1

Its like success is out of reach no matter how long you chase it/
Wish I could add up to somethin but I used the wrong equation/
Stay strong and patient, ready to jump when the time is right/
My mind is bright, but the world has it distracted like a blindin light/
Its hard to focus and the future is faint and blurry/
Waitin for my big break, wishin I could take it early/

very dope homie...cant wait 2 hear the audio

Feel like I'm cornered, what more can I afford to lose/
And the weeks are long when there's nothin to look forward to/
nice multis, like the meaning here
I'm sore and bruised, sweatin to earn these slave wages/
Nowhere to place blame when I'm making these late payments/
I hate changes, and I don't want no one to suffer/
And I'm bummed that my talent could go undiscovered/
reminds me of the style i use with the multi carryin over to the 3rd line, and the structure and wording of your lines. likin the "Slave Wages" part. I can relate to that

My tongue is tougher from spittin all these bars and rhymes/
My heart is blind so music helps me through the hardest times/
Keep a sharpened mind and every day I take in stride/
To stay alive but I'm a dull razor, I'm just scrapin by/
Lol like the razor line, so far this sounds pretty dope
But I may decide to say fuck it and risk it all/
Slowly inch and crawl to my dreams so I don't slip and fall/
I could be optimistic, at least I'm not in prison/
Never been shot and we always got a pot to piss in/
Yea this def reminds me of something id write, good lyrics thus far
If I'm not persistent, then I'll never excel in life/
And if I can't do that, shit, I hope that 2012 is right/
lol dope ender for the 1st verse.

-- Wed Sep 08, 2010 1:48 am --

i got the 2nd verse after work, you can hit up my "TRACK LYRICS" piece, id appreciate the insight

'`AnTi

Shit yeah, I can't wait to hear this on audio whenever you get a chance to record it. Everything about it is ill. I hope you start posting up some more writtens, cuz if you always write at this quality than I'd like to read more.

I've dropped a good 20 or so pieces Intrinsic, they're just buried since most are from last year. I'd say I'm pretty consistent quality wise though lol. Go check em out!

[ Post made via Mobile Device ]

Nice drop fellow brother. Hope we see you and Charlene at the cook out next weekend.