Hip Hop Forum

Eye n'verse tha verse to reverse tha curse
in a bad situation eye make the best outta tha worst
dont mind if eyem last cauz last time eye waz first
few'tour tha fu'ture so first things first
this hook iz off tha line so dont tele'phone my verse
one hit of this AK will have u coughin n a hurst
an carefull how u speak talkin toungues speak n wordz
and if u dont know then fuck you aint learned

werd

this line should be rearanged' eye believe Cee4Saw this werd up
"this hook iz off tha line so dont tele'phone my verse
few'tour tha fu'ture so first things first"

I like the idea your using but I wish you expanded on it
this falls short of something nice, but still got a nice concept
I like that few'tour thing that really makes sense man
you got a nice idea but you didn't execute it properly which makes this piece bland to me
I say if you redo this and add a bit more to that idea..you'll have something dope
either way cool little drop brah, keep writing!

werd wrote:Eye n'verse tha verse to reverse tha curse
in a bad situation eye make the best outta tha worst
dont mind if eyem last cauz last time eye waz first
few'tour tha fu'ture so first things first
this hook iz off tha line so dont tele'phone my verse
one hit of this AK will have u coughin n a hurst
an carefull how u speak talkin toungues speak n wordz
and if u dont know then fuck you aint learned

werd

Not horrible. I would definitely consider dropping something like that in one of the cyphers.

You want a longer piece with a more clear idea for a written rhyme.

werd up
and write on for tha criticizm and props
would def like to expand and learn how to write in rhyme and rhythmz 99 percent better' been fighting this block for awhile
werd

it was a little short to be able to take much from the verse. the hook/telephone line was pretty cool. wasnt feelin the eye concept. kinda confused me when reading it

Eye n'verse tha verse to reverse tha curse
in a bad situation eye make the best outta tha worst
dont mind if eyem last cauz last time eye waz first
few'tour tha fu'ture so first things first
not big fan of rhyming same words, first 2 were cool
this hook iz off tha line so dont tele'phone my verse
one hit of this AK will have u coughin n a hurst
an carefull how u speak talkin toungues speak n wordz
and if u dont know then fuck you aint learned
ended little abrupt, i can dig the flow but some could be revised, i think if you just went over it again itd be tweaked better.

my 2

It Is Short But I Think U GFot Some Skill To Develop bro... Got The Word Play Thing Down...Jus Need To Use Different Words instead Of Different Meanings to The Same Word... Tho i Kinda Liked The Steez When U Used it The First Time Its Gonna Get old... 1

God luk'n on tha feedback folx
my raps r def under construction
thats werd up