Hip Hop Forum

Illaborate

So what, I'm grown up, I'm still stuck in a rutt, still movin thru life with my heart in my gut,
Puke it up, show you love on the mic, its like, these lyrics I write, are all I got left in my life,
So where's the light at? I needa spark my cigarette, commence in conversation while I kill my nikky fit,
depression? I'm kickin it, love for me is hit or miss, I'm fit to live without her its just hard to accept,
I'm a mess, buried in work and stress, barely workin my chest, nurveous searchin for breath,
put my hurtin to rest, refuse to have a regret, I'm pissed but I get why you left,
life was a battle I fought in, after losing I lost it, continued to walking...

Using every step, to get ahead and better the next.

FlipSide

Grew up In The Sport With A Mic In Hand, But Now I Got To Work, Pay The Light N Gas
Enlightened Stress Is What i Strived For Man, But Life It Seems Tightened Vice Grips Fast
N i Went in Lent Just To Pay The Rent And When I Decided To Vent I Woke In Regret
Did I Spend My Cash? Now I Stress Inept Sacrificing Bills When i Sped Past the Bank
to Get my Kids The Flyest kicks, I Had Change The Way I Live Like I Turned Christian
In Front The Game N I Lost my Gig To Survive I Spend What I Planned my Vacation With
Tried To Fix My Whip But That Bitch Beat's Wallets like A Dominatrix Wit A Hungry Pimp
Did A Stint In The Joint And Lerned To Bid.. Came Home To A Crib Wit An Empty Bed
I Jus Smoke A Blunt Get Some Empty Head, Cuz My Ribs Is Touchin N Aint no Bread
A Working man With no Chance to Blow Planned Wit Da Pin Out Grenade In Hand
And Its Weight Was Grand When I Was Gave The Chance To Pick Up Stacks If i Let it Bang
But My Grip SteadFast This Monkey On My Back Is The Will Ta Live The Life of A Workin Man

Lab

'm a mess, buried in work and stress, barely workin my chest, nurveous searchin for breath

dope line..
overall really wasnt feeling your verse man.flow was alittle choppy.
i was expecting more content about be old or explaining more things u been thru


flip.

Grew up In The Sport With A Mic In Hand, But Now I Got To Work, Pay The Light N Gas

dope and real.

Did A Stint In The Joint And Lerned To Bid.. Came Home To A Crib Wit An Empty Bed
I Jus Smoke A Blunt Get Some Empty Head, Cuz My Ribs Is Touchin N Aint no Bread

cool

overall alright collabo..has potential good concept flip flipped it better
but its sometime hard for me 2 catch your flow.prolly just the way i read it..

Decent collabo, both of you had decent lines, some better than others.

Feed to the both of you would be to work on your rhyme scheme/flow. It was hard for me to catch onto the flow, that goes for both of you.

"Grew up In The Sport With A Mic In Hand, But Now I Got To Work, Pay The Light N Gas
Enlightened Stress Is What i Strived For Man, But Life It Seems Tightened Vice Grips Fast
N i Went in Lent Just To Pay The Rent And When I Decided To Vent I Woke In Regret
Did I Spend My Cash? Now I Stress Inept Sacrificing Bills When i Sped Past the Bank
to Get my Kids The Flyest kicks, I Had Change The Way I Live Like I Turned Christian
In Front The Game N I Lost my Gig To Survive I Spend What I Planned my Vacation With"

I just can't find the flow in this section, at all. I suggest you use more multies in your pieces to make your words and bars flow smoother.

I actually think that may be true what Alpha said
but at the same time, it's your style, it may be different
but I think your just experimenting, I remember seeing this tho'
ill dropped it in the chatbox if I'm not mistaken
either way the whole concept of the piece is still on point
really made me think, and I don't think that much...still came across nicely
well executed, and thought provoking....more to do with reality
then impressing the statistics of rhyming...hmmmm
nice reality check drop guys...keep it up....viagra

thanks for the feed n peeps bro's Really Appreciate the Breakdown RE

Returnin' the feed, homie. This shit was pretty decent, straight lyrically speaking it wasn't up to the highest calibre although it had more of a poetic vibe anyway, while still delivering some dope multies from Flip and Illab's verse started off a lil' choppy yet came together sick in the end, nice lil' collabo