Hip Hop Forum

edited and added more*

digging the deepest pits of my brain
Thought process: vicious?Insane?
I stop nonsense by easily ripping your frame
Hot topics so u can picture the flames
a victim of pain kinda like Dalmer
everyday hardworkig white collar
The knife stalker spine popper
Relieve pain,got a long list of bribed doctors
Marvel in skill as i disappear like nightcrawler
The Mic Brawler rob u for less than five dollars
I like problems,grow everytime I solve'em
Define Awesome,when I let vocabulary blend…
Fuck you,your MOM and your imaginary friends
Every Mourning,another battle begins
Instead of killings families,hit the pad with a pen
try to control, the maddness within
to the breaking point,where faith is determined
Minds clouded,reappear with a face of a serpant
Came with a purpose: introduce hatred in verses


AbZ

a victim of pain kinda like Dalmer
everyday hardworkig white collar
The knife stalker spine popper
Relieve pain,got a long list of bribed doctors
Marvel in skill as i disappear like nightcrawler
The Mic Brawler rob u for less than five dollars

That shit flowed smooth like butter, dope bars. Overall this is alright, just another good battle rhyme. I guess some criticism that i can give is in the future you should try sticking to one theme even if its a battle rhyme. Im practicin this myself, not being all over the board and sticking with one topic.

right on man..that shit is all over the place

thnx


AbZ

Not bad. Some good wordplay in there. I liked the marvel line. Flowed seemed a little iffy to me. The lines seemed to grow in length towards the end. Maybe if I could hear you spit it. And like audible said, topic was all over the place. Good shit though.

Define Awesome,when I let vocabulary blend…
Fuck you,your MOM and your imaginary friends

My favorite line, right there.^

thnx for the feed, thats my fav. lines 2..going into a new track i'm recording this week for sure

dope multi's, and you stayed on the flow.. this was majorly good.. no comment other than that..

everyday hardworkig white collar
The knife stalker spine popper
Relieve pain,got a long list of bribed doctors
Marvel in skill as i disappear like nightcrawler
The Mic Brawler rob u for less than five dollars
I like problems,grow everytime I solve'em
Define Awesome,when I let vocabulary blend…
Fuck you,your MOM and your imaginary friends

FUNNY shit. Hella good punches, good multis to complement it.

Witty lines, such as the imaginary friend one.

Good metaphors with the bribe doctors.

Funny with the five dollars.

But most importantly, you stayed with the content and rhyme scheme while being clever and having punches and metaphors. My constructive feedback would be to take more time on your work. You have a lot of talent, and could come way harder with more thought and practice.

right on man, thnx for the read
i've already started reworking into a new track,should be recording soon

Well hell if it isnt good ol Abz. What up duke, this is Kuhlerblynd. Not sure if you remember me or not, but anyhow, lets get to your piece. I have a feeling this was a keystyle, because I remember your writtens having a lot more length to them. Multi's were on time, as always, but Ive seen some great great pieces from you, and this only seemed to be the start of something that could have been much more. Im sure you know what I mean famz. Hit me up sometime and lets get a collab going for old times sake. One.