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What To Do (Vented 2) *Don't Worry This One's Shorter*

Posted: Wed Aug 11, 2010 12:05 pm
by QwarterZ
Broken down, my world it constitutes of pain
got no respect, no money, alot of disputes with dames
why sell myself to a game, what do prostitutes gain
had a girl, thought I loved her, I lost it thru shame
never took her out, but dude gotta provide for her
she don't consider the hours I worked, I'm too sure...
that pride is to blame, cuz after work I'd bring the fight to her
shit seemed to go off right on time, just like new years
we'd argue, I say you don't even try to take into consideration
the inner angst and, the anger that you bring with the plate (then)
you gotta say I ain't shit, I PUT MONEY ON YOUR RIDE, u flipped the statement
say I ain't been helping you, well fuck it, let me get away then
took a walk for hours, reminising of life with your bitter taste
lit up a cig, then let my whole image get to me, then lift away
try to apologize then you respond by sayin' JUST GET AWAY
till I leave the room, grab the notebook let it all hit the page
pour my soul into a 16, but no one ever gets to see what's in me
by the sound of my voice, I'm thinkin' that no one can fuck with me
sure I lack drive, why wouldn't I, when everythin' seems dumb to me
then I think about every other girl that claim they wanted me
I wasn't stupid enough to run off with a dumb broad I knew what RELATIONSHIP means
but how can I relate to you when the man you keep, has you hatin' his dreams
crack open the bottle, shit don't make me feel better, but it helps
how you goin' to hate on me, when I'm the one goin' through fuckin' hell
I guess it's the way I portray it, drunken thats why everythin' becomes unfelt
what am I going to do next....well.....only time is gonna tell

Re: What To Do (Vented 2) *Don't Worry This One's Shorter*

Posted: Wed Aug 11, 2010 2:16 pm
by FlipSide
Broken down, my world it constitutes of pain
got no respect, no money, alot of disputes with dames
Not Another One ....LOL...
why sell myself to a game, what do prostitutes gain
had a girl, thought I loved her, I lost it thru shame
Seems Like A Gold Digger
you gotta say I ain't shit, I PUT MONEY ON YOUR RIDE, u flipped the statement
say I ain't been helping you, well fuck it, let me get away then
And She Turn Into One... Nice lil Fore Shadowing There
till I leave the room, grab the notebook let it all hit the page
pour my soul into a 16, but no one ever gets to see what's in me
by the sound of my voice, I'm thinkin' that no one can fuck with me
sure I lack drive, why wouldn't I, when everythin' seems dumb to me
Nicely Worded... Tho That Seems Like It Drove The Issue To Puttin In Work

Nice Drop Flowed well And Was Very Descriptive but u need To Climb out The monotonous Mode Of Ur Drops...Pick A Different Suject.. or Bring An Alter Ego Back..Jus For Variety.. Or The Lulz..Nothing Taken Away...It Was A Quality Drop

Re: What To Do (Vented 2) *Don't Worry This One's Shorter*

Posted: Fri Aug 13, 2010 4:06 pm
by MC Believe
Nice one had some good detailing i was feeling the whole what to do next idea n vibe it had
flowed well and the lyrics and vocab were good too
some of the lines i felt on a personell level this piece isnt lyrical but it has alot of heart which i like

my fav
I wasn't stupid enough to run off with a dumb broad I knew what RELATIONSHIP means
but how can I relate to you when the man you keep, has you hatin' his dreams
crack open the bottle, shit don't make me feel better, but it helps
how you goin' to hate on me, when I'm the one goin' through fuckin' hell

Re: What To Do (Vented 2) *Don't Worry This One's Shorter*

Posted: Tue Aug 17, 2010 6:30 am
by Munteskue_lol
Broken down, my world it constitutes of pain
got no respect, no money, alot of disputes with dames
why sell myself to a game, what do prostitutes gain
had a girl, thought I loved her, I lost it thru shame
good multis. good metaphors. good content. strong opener.
never took her out, but dude gotta provide for her
she don't consider the hours I worked, I'm too sure...
that pride is to blame, cuz after work I'd bring the fight to her
shit seemed to go off right on time, just like new years
flow and rhyme scheme seemed awkward, but the words themselves were poetic. you can definitely feel and relate to what you're sayin.
crack open the bottle, shit don't make me feel better, but it helps
how you goin' to hate on me, when I'm the one goin' through fuckin' hell
I guess it's the way I portray it, drunken thats why everythin' becomes unfelt
what am I going to do next....well.....only time is gonna tell
REAL SHIT RIGHT THERE. you're a fucking poet. solid drop!

Re: What To Do (Vented 2) *Don't Worry This One's Shorter*

Posted: Wed Aug 18, 2010 1:14 pm
by Kuhlerblynd
I can relate to this piece in so many ways. I liked how you didnt let multi's and focusing on the flow take away from the content. That made this more deep and raw. When I was finished reading it, I felt like there was more to the story though, and want to read more into it. Maybe you could add another verse or something. I also think this would be easy to lace audio wise. Good drop here.