Hip Hop Forum

with gentle pencil strokes, I paint mental slopes and valleys/
halting at the central post to pick up a rental boat/
so I can travel across the ocean that use to resemble hope/
I remember the December snow, the crash on that bendy road/
how I weathered the storm, I will never know, maybe I'm an empty soul/
whats more memorable is the friends, you forget the foes/
its inevitable like when a rose loses it petals, the spring festival/
comes and goes as quick as the back to school specials/
its taken to a new level, years keep passing faster than Drew Bledsoe/
the pressure for success reaches its true threshhold/
drink a few red bulls that are carbonized, its getting hard to climb/
pardon an artists mind, even arthritis never slowed down father time/
some say its God's design, that's where I have to draw the line/
I pause to find the greatest victim in life is the one who follows blind/

this was a good lil piece no doubt had some nice multies too it, the flow stayed consistent no doubt, dont roses lose there petals? not pedals lol....

how I weathered the storm, I will never know, maybe I'm an empty soul/
whats more memorable is the friends, you forget the foes/

drink a few red bulls that are carbonized, its getting hard to climb/
pardon an artists mind, even arthritis never slowed down father time/

they were dope there but the whole piece was good no doubt so good shit on this plex

Man I Aint Quote Till I Read It And I Find That Last Line To Be Of The Most Impact

I pause to find the greatest victim in life is the one who follows blind/

Ahhh Thats Real Right There

its inevitable like when a rose loses it pedals, the spring festival/
comes and goes as quick as the back to school specials/

Ahhhh This Was Also Good In My Eyes...Flow And Rhyme Scheme Are Something Here

That Arthritis Line was also dope but i think mutual quoted it.... Nice Drop Here..

yo this shits pretty damn good, topic was on point metas similies and multis were all there

liked the bedsloe line and the friends line

good shit plex i enjoy your pieces but their as frequent as a blood moon drop more

Never claimed to be a great speller mutual. I'll fix that.

I'm trying Havic.

Feed will be returned, of course.

This was purdy sick Plex, your imagery is on point
the whole multi usage was on point, the vibe was cool
is this new? I haven't seen you drop anything in awhile
besides the champion joint, either way this was cool

so I can travel across the ocean that use to resemble hope/
I remember the December snow, the crash on that bendy road/
how I weathered the storm, I will never know, maybe I'm an empty soul/
whats more memorable is the friends, you forget the foes/
^^^^^^^^^^^^^I was feeling this part of the piece
really stuck out to me, the flow was nice aswell
the piece really strung together nicely
just like you were there to review life and spit knowledge, good drop my dude....keep writing!!!!!!!!

Thanks for the detailed feed Quarter, really do appreciate it. I know I shit on you a bit, but it's meant as motivation so you can reach the level that I know you can.

Expect more pieces like this in the near future. I want to introduce people to both intellectually and artistically that have been intimidated by my longer pieces. Also, to be candid, I want to put less pressure on myself for the complexity that I shouldn't expect of myself and project that others will expect. While trying to be more meaningful in the process.

Its a multi.

Festival
forget-the-foes

-_-

with gentle pencil strokes, I paint mental slopes and valleys/
halting at the central post to pick up a rental boat/
so I can travel across the ocean that use to resemble hope/

I Question why your crossing something that Use 2, But thats your own personal thing, None the less Good Start bro, smooth N deep at the same time.


I remember the December snow, the crash on that bendy road/
how I weathered the storm, I will never know, maybe I'm an empty soul/
whats more memorable is the friends, you forget the foes/
its inevitable like when a rose loses it petals, the spring festival/


Shit seems like a snowy day type of Poem you'd read... something u read then go out to snow falling everywhere, something dark but pure. Could even add a Lil more spice but that could be debated.


its taken to a new level, years keep passing faster than Drew Bledsoe/
the pressure for success reaches its true threshhold/
drink a few red bulls that are carbonized, its getting hard to climb/
pardon an artists mind, even arthritis never slowed down father time/
some say its God's design, that's where I have to draw the line/
I pause to find the greatest victim in life is the one who follows blind/


In a Sense you strayed off From the Feel i got from whats Above, But it still Weaved together nice N I understand what u were saying, Arthritis/Fathertime. I like that.


N Of Course your Own Belief for a last line lol good way 2 go out.

I Think You just weaved this shit together Nice N it shows ur just toying around but going deep at the Same Time.

$.@MB!T!0N.$ wrote: I Think You just weaved this shit together Nice N it shows ur just toying around but going deep at the Same Time.

Spot on Doggy.

Thanks for the feedback.

impressive verse. you are defitinitly the best on here when it comes to these kinda nostalgic type drops

complexity wrote:with gentle pencil strokes, I paint mental slopes and valleys/
halting at the central post to pick up a rental boat/
so I can travel across the ocean that use to resemble hope/
I remember the December snow, the crash on that bendy road/
how I weathered the storm, I will never know, maybe I'm an empty soul/
^^^^
a good start to the verse. very descriptive. almost seems kinda dreamy if that makes sense lol


whats more memorable is the friends, you forget the foes/
^^^^
nice if a bit cheesy

its inevitable like when a rose loses it petals, the spring festival/
comes and goes as quick as the back to school specials/
its taken to a new level, years keep passing faster than Drew Bledsoe/
the pressure for success reaches its true threshhold/
^^^^^
dunno who drew bledsoe is but its all good. nice multis, you make it seems effortless. nothing too much content wise to grab my attention here though

drink a few red bulls that are carbonized, its getting hard to climb/
pardon an artists mind, even arthritis never slowed down father time/
some say its God's design, that's where I have to draw the line/
I pause to find the greatest victim in life is the one who follows blind/

^^^^
the last section is definitly the highlight for me. the arthritis/father time bit is dope as fuck. and the last bar is so true. ive got a similar view to you on religion so it hits home.

overall i enjoyed this. i would love to be able to write like this. multis were a bit simpler than your usual million syllables but it didnt take away from the verse at all. you have an original way of describing emotions/opinions...etc. i would have known you wrote this if it was annonymous.

Dam i Like this piece. its my first time reading your work, dude you got skills. I cant wait for more.

Mistah Unknown wrote:Dam i Like this piece. its my first time reading your work, dude you got skills. I cant wait for more.

There you go.

http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/blind ... 18000.html



Cee4 you give me too much credit.

all together i liked this piece the topic was deep your flow was good multis where good as always its like you never run out of rhymes bro. All together it was good but i felt it was weak to your normal standards i was actually bored when i went to read it again so i didnt quote anything nothing in it really stuck out to me if you disagree i dont care i can prove it. all in all it was better then 90% of what other people drop but since im holdin you at a higher standard ima give it a 6/10.

MOEstradamus wrote:all together i liked this piece the topic was deep your flow was good multis where good as always its like you never run out of rhymes bro. All together it was good but i felt it was weak to your normal standards i was actually bored when i went to read it again so i didnt quote anything nothing in it really stuck out to me if you disagree i dont care i can prove it. all in all it was better then 90% of what other people drop but since im holdin you at a higher standard ima give it a 6/10.

I rarely debate an opinion on writing. I don't know if it deserved a 6, that's a bit harsh, but I can understand the point you're making.

I appreciate the feedback.