Hip Hop Forum

i'm similar to a vengeful word spitten in animosity
i'm awesome see you star struck b i move in high velocity
constantly i move with skill i do what’s real an obviously
there’s no sovereignty for a criminal so i'm possibly
s-o-l’d to poverty so I see red, magenta lava, burgundy
while urgently searchin these streets for that currency
I swerve and weave always on the move uncertainly
Doomed to be an outlaw illegal daily an currently
I find to be in emergency at night i toss an turn to breathe
I yearn to be free but my searches end up fruitless
At sleep I dream of pullin teeth wakin to bruises, toothless
I’m spittin but words are muted wit fears of bein useless
Thirsty with no juices rollin dice with only deuces
It’s a bad dream still I’m polluted wit a convoluted influence
It’s a nuisance but that’s the fuel that lets me do this
Angry pissed off at new music an tryin to give 2 shits
But I cant give up the dream bad and I are a unit




......

a lil bit on the simple side but a sacrafice for message

uppin

thought this was pretty decent. got some good vocabulary but you could use a better rhymescheme overall. other than tha ti see potential.

Not bad
Flow was decent but the vocabulary was sick
couldve used a few more meta4s or simlies
the overall content was coo though

M.D still doing his thing
still flowing like crazy
dropping some sick bars
vocab was off the chain
I think the middle is what I liked the most tho'

while urgently searchin these streets for that currency
I swerve and weave always on the move uncertainly
Doomed to be an outlaw illegal daily an currently
I find to be in emergency at night i toss an turn to breathe
I yearn to be free but my searches end up fruitless
At sleep I dream of pullin teeth wakin to bruises, toothless
I’m spittin but words are muted wit fears of bein useless
^^^^^^^^^^^^^dope shit man, keep doing you

Dynamiq wrote:thought this was pretty decent. got some good vocabulary but you could use a better rhymescheme overall. other than tha ti see potential.

I agree completely. It's one thing to touch on things that you know about with rhyme after rhyme. That's nice and all, but in order to really stand out, you need to be able to describe how you feel through intricate rhymes. That way you're challenging us both mentally and artistically at the same time. Increase the difficulty and uniqueness of your verses and you'll be even better.

Favorite Line.

while urgently searchin these streets for that currency
I swerve and weave always on the move uncertainly

The best part by far was the first few bars. The whole toothless, gives two shits, didn't do much for me.

I'd give this a 7/10.

Not horrible. I see great room for improvement though.