Hip Hop Forum

Posted: **Wed Jul 14, 2010 2:54 pm**

Rugged Eros wrote:

I wrote this last summer after I got fired from this job, I just came home and wrote this in about 20 minutes. It's rushed, but it's straight from the heart --

I need to write -
Cuz the calories of anxiety are outweighing the weed/
I see my moms talking but I’m not listening to what she’s saying to me/
An ex lover just told me off for the last time/
I guess all I can do is sit here and pretend that that’s fine/
I need to write -

I can honestly say I have felt like this before.

I'm seeing why -
This other girl I like doesn’t even want me/
She called me a pussy, said, “lets be friends”, wasn’t even funny/
I got fired from work today, for something I didn’t even do/
I didn’t do it but they’re like “I don’t believe you, well I think it’s you, tell me the truth”/
I need a life/

what did you get fired for? haha I hate when girls drop the lets just be friends line.

I'm feeling like -
They used me as a scapegoat and told me to hand over my shirt/
That they hope their wrong and that I no longer can show up for work/
Now I’m at home, exhausted, tired, broken into bits and pieces/
Smoking a bit of weed, hoping it’ll give me just an inch of reason/
I need a pipe -

Word. sometimes it seems like a bowl is the only way to fix someting thats broken.

I'm breathing light -
Cuz I have no health insurance and a premature heart beat/
I could die at any moment, found dead face down in a car seat/
Today my heart bulged so bad I thought it was going to explode/
Inside my chest, it took my breathe, I’m gonna die cold and alone/
It’s feeling tight/

"today my heart bulged so bad I thought it was going to explode" I really like this line.

In real life -
I don’t talk to my mom, my dad is bullshit, he left me his throne/
Grams is all I have left, she passes then I’ll definitely be alone/
I never heard my grandma cough like that man/
Every time I leave her front door I just want to walk right back in/
Is she alright? -

word. its sorta the same with my fam except my grandma is still doing good. Its hard knowing that someone you love is hurting with nothing you can really do about it.

I need a light -
Unpaid bills that have been passed over to collection agencies/
College suspension topped off with bills and debts dad gave to me/
Because of him I’m fucked for whenever I want to buy a new house sometime/
So much for moving out, wow, I had high hopes for 2009/
I'll be alright -

word. Overall I think this lacked emotion compared to your other drops, still a good little dity though. I think it was worth the read. and for 20 minutes worth of writting its purdy nice, the flow seemed a bit choppy at times but it still worked.

Posted: **Thu Jul 15, 2010 8:57 am**

In real life -
I don’t talk to my mom, my dad is bullshit, he left me his throne/
Grams is all I have left, she passes then I’ll definitely be alone/
I never heard my grandma cough like that man/
Every time I leave her front door I just want to walk right back in/
Is she alright? -

As for what rip says... i do not look for flow in poetry tho this had some in there.. i did not find it choppy given the structure of it... it was meant to me... to be that way.. this was not at all as your other pieces..which to me speaks of the situation u found ur self in.. i think its nice using writing as an avenue to release stress as i think u used that specific moment..This quote right here speaks of the situation... i would like to also see a piece of how u overcome that... overall consistent drop

Posted: **Fri Jul 16, 2010 12:20 am**

I Read This Yesterday & I Thought It Wasn't Your Best But An Exceptionally Good Concept. What Stuck Me Like Mosquito Bite Was This...

I need a light -
Unpaid bills that have been passed over to collection agencies/
College suspension topped off with bills and debts dad gave to me/
Because of him I’m fucked for whenever I want to buy a new house sometime/
So much for moving out, wow, I had high hopes for 2009/
I'll be alright

Keep The OPTIMISM E-Z

Posted: **Wed Sep 08, 2010 1:46 pm**

This was another sick piece, I can't explain it
the raw emotion to it explains how I feel at times man
really keeps me captivated cuz some of your thoughts are my thoughts
definitly relating to the high hopes idea, sometimes shit's to pressuring
but I'm still here, another year, going through the same routine
tryna make sense of it all, I'm digging this tho'

I get your whole over a year thing too, I keep a lot of my work saved up
just to see how I was feeling at that time man
you still did pretty good on this, that vintage feel, nice drop my dude!

Posted: **Wed Sep 22, 2010 2:56 am**

I don’t talk to my mom, my dad is bullshit, he left me his throne/
Grams is all I have left, she passes then I’ll definitely be alone/

personally i am a fan of straight from the heart drops. because it is raw emotion to me. alot of times it is missing the appropriate metaphors or structure...not the case in this one. i see you had a lot of shit worth thinking about running through your mind and you took us with you on the trip. nicely done.

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