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Love Begins and Ends

Posted: Mon Jun 28, 2010 2:16 pm
by QwarterZ
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cS11Lnd-qGY
It begins.........

Our scene starts at the end of the day
where all our senses stray, beauty descends again
see the world is less stressful then again
it depends on when you caught by the glisten then
the seconds tick slower then time slows down
your mind starts trailin' your girl starts gigglin'
now......
she's dreamin' of children you thinkin' of hittin' it
that's how I picture it, but maybe if your listenin'
she might see that inside you is different and distant...
very common factor while she's fallin' in love
your fallin' backwards
you'd do anything for her, we could call it valor
nothing came between you maybe a couple dollars
factor that in, then you got yourself a thought of disaster
mixed between emotions, weed, writers block and alot of stanza's
you reach the end of the line, that's where she calls for a Danza
taxi cab arrives now you tryna utter words you never knew
even with whatever dispute, or everything that you'd ever do
you always knew that forever grew from the mind of depth n grew
formin' a flower that was dug up, then it was left to you
the florescent view, leaves a state of mind of whether you...
could man up inside, just to say the things that she meant to you
now every sense is blew, cry is all she was left to dew
the tears drip from her eyes as you start to look into hers
you try to utter the words, then your body gets too heated for words
your mindstate is shock, and sight is losin' it's central nerve
you think your goin' into a stroke, everythin' in your mind is a blur
your body starts shakin', you get colder by the second and all you heard
was a loud noise from behind, all you see is the look in her eyes
you fall to the ground, tryna utter the last words to your life
the one who made life in this world pass by, as she falls into your arms
another sound comes much clearer, the night lights up causin' alarm
now the only thing that could do you harm, is the wrong route to Allah
religion plays loosely, but so do prayers when your fallin' apart
with these last few seconds you see the killers face
as the flame fills the place and causes tend to build it's case
you try to awake past the tears that you been cryin' on your pillow case..........

the end..............

Re: Love Begins and Ends

Posted: Mon Jun 28, 2010 2:22 pm
by Colossus
Perfect beat for story telling. Very vintage feel. I feel like you should have used stronger rhyming in some parts but in other parts your rhyming was perfect. Good build and story line, but near the end it got a bit cloudy for me. Good imagery, not amazing, but good imagery none the less. Overall I enjoyed it. A good read. Image


Hit me back if possible: The Slaughter

Re: Love Begins and Ends

Posted: Thu Jul 01, 2010 8:33 am
by QwarterZ
this nukka.....

Re: Love Begins and Ends

Posted: Thu Jul 01, 2010 10:00 am
by Quix
I liked it main!!


taxi cab arrives now you tryna utter words you never knew
even with whatever dispute, or everything that you'd ever do
you always knew that forever grew from the mind of depth n grew
formin' a flower that was dug up, then it was left to you
the florescent view, leaves a state of mind of whether you...
could man up inside, just to say the things that she meant to you
now every sense is blew, cry is all she was left to dew


Ill ^^ nice flow, Content was strong!

Re: Love Begins and Ends

Posted: Fri Jul 02, 2010 6:55 am
by Borat
CLAP...........CLAP...........CLAP.........CLAP........CLAP......CLAP.....CLAP....CLAP...CLAP..CLAP.CLAPCLAPCLAPCLAPCLAPCLAPCLAP!!!!!!!!!!!

[ Post made via Mobile Device ] Image

Re: Love Begins and Ends

Posted: Wed Jul 07, 2010 11:49 am
by QwarterZ
oh and this = )

Re: Love Begins and Ends

Posted: Wed Jul 07, 2010 12:13 pm
by FlipSide
formin' a flower that was dug up, then it was left to you
the florescent view, leaves a state of mind of whether you...
could man up inside, just to say the things that she meant to you
now every sense is blew, cry is all she was left to dew
This was def standing out when i read it
you try to utter the words, then your body gets too heated for words
your mindstate is shock, and sight is losin' it's central nerve
you think your goin' into a stroke, everythin' in your mind is a blur
nice emo build up here for real
now the only thing that could do you harm, is the wrong route to Allah
religion plays loosely, but so do prayers when your fallin' apart
This is a sick ass line to me

I gotta say this was a worthy drop... long as hell but enjoyed reading it... nice lil topic... crazy ass dream too... Purrdy captivating

Re: Love Begins and Ends

Posted: Wed Jul 07, 2010 12:18 pm
by The Gonz
Very poetic. I don't think I've seen this side of you lyrically. Good shit, had a good rhythm to it, awesome imagery. Some of the rhymes were a tad off, but I don't think its a big issue for the most part. This just seems more like Distilled Concepts material. Bravo for switchin shit up.