Hip Hop Forum

Feel like I'm cornered, what more can I afford to lose/
And the weeks are long when there's nothin to look forward to/
I'm sore and bruised, sweatin to earn these slave wages/
Nowhere to place blame when I'm makin these late payments/
My kids hate changes, I don't want no one to suffer/
And I'm bummed because my talents could go undiscovered/
My tongue is tougher from spittin all these bars and rhymes/
My heart is blind so the music gets me through the hardest times/
Keep a sharpened mind, each day I take in stride/
Tryin to stay alive but I'm a dull razor, I'm just scrapin by/
But I may decide to say fuck it and risk it all/
Inch and crawl to my dreams so I don't slip and fall/
I could be optimistic, at least I'm not in prison/
Never been shot and we always got a pot to piss in/
If I'm not persistent I'll never excel in life/
And if I can't do that, I hope that 2012 is right/

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I really like this drop gonzo,
You can feel the stress behind it and the emotions, The unsureness of the future. Etc.

As always flow is on point except for:
Feel like I'm cornered, what more can I afford to lose/
And the weeks are long when there's nothin to adore or look forward to/


I felt like the second line was stretched a bit to long to flow proper but that's very miniscule compared to the rest of the drop which is almost flawless

The last bar really hit the message home and was a great close.

I hope to see more of your writtens man

[ Post made via Mobile Device ]

this is def a piece that i enjoyed...flow was on point and the topic shows some depth you touched the issues and kept the flow on point. As far see me reading it to a beat... this is fluid to me... dope drop

I'm sore and bruised, sweatin to earn these slave wages/
Nowhere to place blame when I'm makin these late payments/

Keep a sharpened mind, each day I take in stride/
Tryin to stay alive but I'm a dull razor, I'm just scrapin by/

This was purdy dope man, I like the children don't like change line
that really stuck out to me, although I have no kids, but I get what you mean
I like a majority of this piece tho', very strong in it's visuals
keep writing bruh, this is your best piece to me, it's soooo real

Preciate the feed yall. And yeah, the line is too long, edited it for a smoother flow.

[ Post made via Mobile Device ]

You are able to draw some crazy emotion man. And your flow is always sooo clean. Man keep em comin I love your writting man.

My heart is blind so the music gets me through the hardest times/ Keep a sharpened mind, each day I take in stride/ Tryin to stay alive but I'm a dull razor, I'm just scrapin by/

Favorite part. I feel like this a lot actually. Good read keep it up brah

[ Post made via Mobile Device ]

-- Sat Jun 26, 2010 7:52 am --

You are able to draw some crazy emotion man. And your flow is always sooo clean. Man keep em comin I love your writting man.

My heart is blind so the music gets me through the hardest times/ Keep a sharpened mind, each day I take in stride/ Tryin to stay alive but I'm a dull razor, I'm just scrapin by/

Favorite part. I feel like this a lot actually. Good read keep it up brah