Hip Hop Forum

im not sure if i dropped this once before but i was lookin thru my notebook and i seen this an i figured id type it up an drop it. whatcha think?


lemme sit u down maybe take a walk
around the world but i wont make u talk
so instead i guess ill release my mind
hopefully ill find some peace in time
cuz i wont put a knife to my wrist
tho its hard livin a life like this
u dirty fuckaz always made the pain worse
when theres trouble u say my name first
but thats not the case not anymore
why u come to me actin all friendly for?
i came from the bottom tryna see the top
a lil fame got em tryna be whats hot
can i get some help? no one replied
i prayed to god but i guess he lied
and i cant forget all of my haters too
revenge is comin so ill catch u later too
starin at the sky yall tearin at my pride
and i bet yall aint even carin if i cry
so this is it i guess this mess is mine
u either walk with me or get left behind

This was purdy cool, needs a bit more emotion to it
maybe it's for a song, or just randomly written...hmmmm
either way this was a purdy smooth piece, thanx to the flow
the vibe it gave off tho' wasn't hitting for me
I say revise it a bit, maybe try some originality
writtens usually acquire a more insightful look of the mind
while this is good, it just seems like a song, keep writing

you write serious rhymes

ya it was for an old song of mine that never got finished haha,thanks for the feed i might revise it,uppin!

deep shit.. guud shit