Hip Hop Forum

[soundclick]9269649[/soundclick]

A lil snippet of what will eventually be my first full length track....also posted in the writtens...since thats all it was to be


For the lust of a buck i show religion love
In God We Trust My Peers Printed Above
A one Offering a Pun Cuz Its Never Enough

serve Seguls that took reserch ta commit to its cause
Its face of control with no flaws boxed by them ones
The eyes progress but in higher knowledge involved
Hypocritic its vision ta circulate, but say its reserved
Ta conserve the worth of an earned minute ta burn
For the poisoned fruit of the labor u Gave in its turn
Negate ya.. never, in its favor, sins get done...
Wars get fought and with cover the world moves on
While countries starve in need of what makes us strong
when the problems come ..the wise survive with ones
Held with content, and comptent is felt when gone
People done hanged,Then felt repent for they god
Initial plans scrapped Greed reached the man above
Its battle record on its back and its list is of One....

really cool topic. Lyrics are good. You're delivery is okay, but some times you either mumble over parts of your lyrics or your flow doesn't match perfectly over the beat. anyways, definitely a great start, for you first track ever.

this was nice had a nice flow maybe need to work on emotion a lil bit more and the mutlies are comin nicely just gotta clear those vocals up and it'll be dope especially when you do the whole track

right..... now i learned where all my vocals go to...so i can save em...fix em,chop em,screw em and so forth...just aint had no time to learn....

honestly i thought u were gettin better but i feel like u fell off in this one and thats suntin you dont do when rapping on a track royce da 5'9 eminem n jay-z are famous for getting on

Yeah I gotta say I was definitely feeling a couple of your other posts more than this one, I think you could probably tighten it up a bit and spit it better if you really wanted to, homie. Crazy beat, I don't think I could do it justice so I try to stay off those..keep postin blood. Bang em out.

Word..... bad choice of beat...

Nice drop man but like Messiah said u need 2 work on ur emotion a lil more specially if ur gonna touch a beat like Renegade. Quality sounds a lil better still needs sum work tho flow was nice as well no complaints there. Work on ur emotion more dawg and keep dropping tracks.

Heh Heh Flip.. I Guess Were Known 4 Being 2 Laid Back on Beats. Pretty Soon I'm Going Audio Though

For shure man... i appreciate the feed and ...i kno im notorious for being half ass...lol im progress tho. I had a feeling the beat would get bad feed for being my choice it was just what i used to write that piece.. so i spit on it...My bad... im def tryna up the quality and i been learning a lil... tho thanks for helping me elevate.. i will def work on the emotion and comeback strong...

dawg i think u jus gotta step back from the mic a lil. jus a lil though. kinda got that redline goin on. but all in all, i like this. u always drop sum ku shit. more feelin though. like when u say, its neva enough. if u put more umpf into it, that shit would echo in the streets. haha. i liked this though. glad to see u stayin droppin.

The lyrics were in my eyes were awesome and just what you needed to be writing, beat of top chart for a starter track, as you've heard emotion should step up notch, you did fly over some words tho kinda made it sound like u fell off beat or mumbled but that could be the equipment or something, over all i like it, cant wait to hear the full version