Hip Hop Forum

im done gettin drunk tryin to numb the pain
stumblin like a bumb to pour the rum down the drain
leanin over the sink on the brink of a breakdown
lifes a bitch and i need some help not so easy to say aloud
cuz way down deep i feel like im bout to black out
lash out grip this bitch by the balls and swing like its my last out
get pissed and hit the wall till i cant lift my fist or i just pass out
cuz i carried this shit on my shoulders till it shifted and twisted my back out
now i walk around crippled actin proud...
people want the old me back cuz they say he was better
but he got lost when i lost my temper
cant really remember what went wrong since december
except when i sent a message to the lord surrenderin my pulse
it got returned to sender renderin tender my faults
the messenger was an angel but i took that with a grain of salt
till i heard the message was a song
tellin me to stay strong and move on

chorus

Dude this was sick! I got a fantastic visuall in the first verse? Till it shifted and twisted my back out... is about where it ended.... BUT it picks right back up! Man I liked it a lot. My favorite part would have to be

"cant really remember what went wrong since december except when i sent a message to the lord surrenderin my pulse t got returned to sender renderin tender my faults"

Nice rhyme man... overall it was good. Could be cleaned up a bit for a better flow, ya know... take some words out or somethin' I would like to hear more tho. Keep it up man

[ Post made via Mobile Device ]

eyyy dude this is aiight...i saw some flaws with the sructure and flow but most def a shot at some multies in there...i think.. im not that good at deciphering drops but i think it was deep and on point...keep droppin dude


and yea rip that line was sick 4 real

preciate it guys i will clean it up

this was purdy good man
nice to see you droppin', but I'd like to see more
nice lines in there, real sick touch on reality
I'm diggin' this piece right here, keep doin' you!