Hip Hop Forum

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this was decent bro
the structure kinda irritated me
either way I think you came across nicely
keep doin' you
nice to see you droppin' again!

So I know! That we’ve been going different ways and it’s sad

But I couldn’t have finished the road without you pavin the path

i can definitly relate to this..gotta have love for the boys... it was descent and in song form... which leads me to think u spittin... and i read it that way too so i think with a slow beat it would be nice.. just get ur content up.. or thats just me talking shit.. but it would be short..tho it has a middle begginin and end... all in all nice drop kid

this was nice had a good story flow was choppy in some places but if you record it it will be an ez fix. No multis at all really you made it work but kinda made it sound a lil choppy. Hook was ok... verse one was better than verse two. and the freestyle at the end id just leave out if you record it. What kind of beat do you have behind this

I got the snoop dogg and jaicko or whatever his name is

yea it was kinda choppy at times but thats the only bad thing in my oppinion. this here is my type of shit. a story told, sum pictures painted. it was all smooth to me.

We couldn’t get into parties they said our GROUPS TOO BIG

And we just laughed and showed up separately we’re USED TO IT.
hahahaha. this shit is us all day. haha. i deffy liked this shit dawg. my bad on the lag for ur collab but im tryna hear that when yall finish it. good shit bro

FlipSide wrote:

So I know! That we’ve been going different ways and it’s sad

But I couldn’t have finished the road without you pavin the path

this line is beautiful mayne. if i had written it which i wish i had, it would use more similar sounding syllables like
we both know for sho we goin seperate ways and it sad
but my road would of erroded if u hadnt been pavin the path

understand for what u were goin for i like what u did im just sayin that if u use more of this it would display a broader skill then just elliciting the emotional part of the art. It challenges you and the reader/ listener
nice piece very relatable

Hey, As I sit back and reminisce,

Today, I live my past with no blemishes.

ok


And they, Got another thing in mind, but we

Kick it hard, me and my brothers keep it live-uh-lee

LoL something to Rewrite.


So bro, let me go back to 7th grade.

We hadn’t figured nothing out it was the best of days

Liking this..lets See if u keep Building the flow of it


So bad, skippin class in the grass by Sylvester

Fuck the world we can get ‘em next semester

Lol alright


Hey! We had fun, I’ll grant ya one, a long time ago

Landon fell in love, the rest: we had all kinds of hoes

Getting into detail..


Lunch line was slow, I loved to 3- line the phone

And we always found anotha mothafuckin mind to blow

No.


I always got us into trouble; we ran into the cops

Like when we ran right next to QFC the six of us hopped

KFC or QFC? lol n hopped the building or the Fence?


Till Devanta slipped and he talked, the bitch in him got

Us in to trouble and he almost got the six of us caught

Good save.


Except we knew Thomas and how damn strict his parents were

So we lied and let him hide we tried to fix his character

Thats It.. Keep it going




We corrupted him a little but it was all for the best

Cause each mistake is a lesson learned and you can call it a test

Maintaining it.


But anyway, as I sit here on this day I think

That we are connected for forever and we made a link


No.

................
\



High school was much different than middle school

Not even a little cool to bring the girlies to the swimming pools

Could reword.


But we made do, and you had my back through it all

Still wouldn’t put it past you bastards laughin at my ass when I fall

alright.


We couldn’t get into parties they said our GROUPS TOO BIG

And we just laughed and showed up separately we’re USED TO IT

LOL . Liked this


It’s been a long time since we were chillin at Alki Beach

We’ve made and lost some friends and I made these alpine beats

No.



So I know! That we’ve been going different ways and it’s sad

But I couldn’t have finished the road without you pavin the path

Cool.


This was a Good read in My Opinion, you Have Potential.
Enjoyed this, Some just didn't Click with Me but Overall you Did a Straight Job.

Stay Up N Keep Dropping

Thx for the feed much appreciated this kinda shit is what gets me improving. Will return it for sure

Decent Script I Have 2 See More From You..
What Stuck Out Like A Sore Nail Was,

Till Devanta slipped and he talked, the bitch in him got

Us in to trouble and he almost got the six of us caught

Except we knew Thomas and how damn strict his parents were

So we lied and let him hide we tried to fix his character

Trouble Some Friends Huh? Yall Be Careful Next Time