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more zombie b.s.

Posted: Mon Apr 19, 2010 7:06 pm
by Borat
Roll over, alarm clock in my ear, I'm hung over, chicks not talkin to clear.
Try to make sense of all the mumbles and cry's, wonderin why, my heart is rushin inside.
She speaks "keep clean of the city streets, these things that we've seen, they gotta thirst for meat" human flesh? Na. This must be a dream, slap myself to wake, but I'm still In the scene,
So I, stand steady both hands are sweaty, I jet to the shed, snatch pop's machette, I wedge it between my dungree's and belt, run inside for a phone line to call for help.
Must be, police, fuckin with me, cause I was greeted with a greeting from a fuckin machine.
Just then, took a turn, seen em' takin turns, greg laid there, blank stare, startin to turn,
Foamin at the lips, spewin blood, when he spitts, I'm stoppin nothin with hits, so I reach for my hip, grip the blade in my fists, claim one limb, turn around to take off runnin, I'm rushin they stumblin, try to hold a focused mind, I know as far as I go they follow close behind...
Wait, its my chance to escape, run thru the grass leap the front gate, thru a couple of yards, reach the corner of 100 n 8th, on my way to that place where I took half my dates... dam wait, its that chick from the house, how'd she get here so quick? And why's there blood on her mouth? Nevermind, don't care for what its about, reach to my waist and pull the blade out, run up take a swing relieve the queen of her wig, run past as she lands on the gravel, I throw my shoulder thru the theater door, fall thru 3 floors till I reach a morge, stand up, scene I seen I could barely believe, was like that zombie movie I saw last week. Haha

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Re: more zombie b.s.

Posted: Tue Apr 20, 2010 4:50 pm
by M-Vario
FIRE!

I want to become a mod so i can ban you if you EVER stop making these! once again a very enjoyable read.

Re: more zombie b.s.

Posted: Wed Apr 21, 2010 5:06 am
by Borat
Haha word. Good lookin out homie, preciate the feed boys

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Re: more zombie b.s.

Posted: Wed Apr 21, 2010 7:41 am
by K KiLLaH
shits dope fix ya structure shits still dope 7/10 woulda got 8.5 but u fell off towards the end

Re: more zombie b.s.

Posted: Wed Apr 21, 2010 9:17 am
by QwarterZ
This was actually purdy dope
I don't know...the other one and this one are neck n neck
this one had more visual tho'
but the other one seemed on point structure wise
keep writing! I enjoyed it!

Re: more zombie b.s.

Posted: Sat Apr 24, 2010 4:30 am
by citizenslain
dope overall for sure. i like the subtlety between your line 7.9/10 from me

Re: more zombie b.s.

Posted: Sat Apr 24, 2010 11:10 am
by Munteskue_lol
lyrical content was amazing. I couldn't make it flow in my head though

-- Fri Apr 23, 2010 5:10 pm --

lyrical content was amazing. I couldn't make it flow in my head though

Re: more zombie b.s.

Posted: Sun Apr 25, 2010 11:53 am
by JDR
Not to bad or good IMO. I like the story tellin' but thought the rhymes were pretty basic and the structure was messed up. Seen a few decent lines but would of liked it more if you wouldn't of dropped so many 1 line rhymin' words in the same sentence. If you threw a couple of multies in there and fit it together better, would of been pretty nice. Either way, keep elevatin'. 1