Hip Hop Forum

I wrote this rhyme over the long weekend. I had unplugged my clocks and changed the ones I couldn't turn off. Time is distracting when you just wanna chill and blaze.

I DONT KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS
THE TIME OF THE WORLD AINT NONE A MAH BIZ
I GOT SOME WEED SO YOU KNOW IM BLITZED
THE TIME OF THE WORLD AINT NONE A MAH BIZ

AN UNLIT BOWL, I TOOK TWO HITS
NOW IM TALKING JUST LIKE THIS
IM TALKING WITH A SOUTHERN TWIST
HERES HOPING THAT YOU GET THE JIST
NO REPEATING, MY MINDS TOO LIT
GOOD GRIEF! IM TALKING LIKE A BRIT

THIS BAG OF REEFER IS THE SHIT
IT'S GOT ME ACTING LIKE THE TWITS
IM SO GROSS, I TAKE CRUDE PICS
LIKE WHEN IM DONE TAKING A SHIT
I TAKE A PIC AND FORWARD IT
MY ACE RYAN L-O-L'S IT
HE SAYS THAT I AM FUCKING SICK
ALMOST VOMITED, RIGHT QUICK


I hate re-using the same words to rhyme but I was too far gone to care and it flows alright I think. Anybody think that it's worth finishing? I'll finish it eventually regardless.





http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/aww-m ... 15722.html

I applaud you for putting this up...

just needs some work far as punches, metaphors, and multi's go
I'm not going to pour it on you bro n just go wild on your work
just give you a few friendly suggestions....no go...n grow!

qwarterzone wrote:punches, metaphors, and multi's

What are punches and multi's? I most likely know what they are but have never heard the terminology before.

punches=punchlines jokes dont know how else to put it

exp:

"Dosia`s coy, I see a ‘bitch in SB’ n it aint Soulja Boy!…your net drama done gone gay
Clown, Cee go Dahmer upon prey, I’ll put this West MC down like Obama did Kanye!!"-cee4 from his battle with dosia

you should see the punch here
a punch can be direct or indirect i mean it depends on wat ur goin for but in a battle you want punches direct at your oppenent

multis=mutli syllabule rhymes

exp:

"If our verses stood tall, ud be under a foot small.. cuz this honestly wasnt a good brawl...
See I go the distance! now witness mah punches RUSH YD's like runnin the football !!"-arv from his battle wit dosia

see them foot-small/good-brawl/football/ all multi rhymes

metaphors=some ppl say its a dub meaning others consider it word play

exp:

"Be a huslta and run after-mills, but its hard when you can’t sell-a-gram…
I could promote you to messenger, and you still couldn’t Tellagram//" my first battle on here vs teflon

see what im meaning by double meaning here a messenger delievers tellagrams but im sayin hes a bad drug dealer too and saying he cant TELL A GRAM so you kinda understand them now....

there are also personals but personals are mainly only used in battles. personals are punches on a person that are 100% tru and shit theyve done in the past