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Sand Paper

Posted: Sun Apr 04, 2010 8:01 am
by The Gonz
A long day full of appointments and pills/
He loves his job but the voices have poisoned the thrill/
Examining patients to pinpoint a sickness/
But their delusions grew and created voids in his business/
Annoyed with the wishes his patients produce/
Tracing the roots of their illness to awaken the truth/
He takes the abuse, overworked so he's bringing it home/
Locks the door and then hears a ring from the phone/
Rotates the keys once more, sprints to receive it/
The news enters his ear and for an instant he's speechless/
He can't begin to believe it, his brother has died/
The pain is so sharp, it's like something ruptured inside/
He covers his eyes, his palms absorb the liquid/
Cursing the Lord for making him a war statistic/
Tortured with the guilt, his thoughts run short/
Wrenching his brain until it's lost and warped/
He hops in his car, presses the clutch and ignition/
Turns on the wipers but its the tears obstructing his vision/
No more trust in religion, he heads to the bar/
Thinking a few drinks will help with mending the scars/
Liquor enters his heart, he can't open his eyes/
Stumbles to his car, finds his keys and goes for a drive/
No one in sight, floors it, he's rather die than deal/
Cries conceal the road as he sleeps behind the wheel/

To be continued...

Re: Sand Paper

Posted: Sun Apr 04, 2010 8:23 am
by - Mutual -
the mutlies was nice the flow was very consistent the vocab was nice with it some nice similes and metas in there overall i like this piece strong rhyming and you executed it well look forward to the next part

Re: Sand Paper

Posted: Sun Apr 04, 2010 1:08 pm
by Riggz
always a smooth flow from you Ruck...
"He hops in his car, presses the clutch and ignition/
Turns on the wipers but its the tears obstructing his vision/
No more trust in religion, he heads to the bar/
Thinking a few drinks will help with mending the scars/" -- still writin' personal stories and shit. Nice my man.

Re: Sand Paper

Posted: Mon Apr 05, 2010 8:36 am
by DaPrince
Damn, your flow is on point as always and the at this point it's a given that you're gonna have dope multi's but really pulled me into this piece was the imagery and story-telling. By the 4th bar I was invested in what was happening and wanted to keep reading. Riggz pointed out the lines that I would have quoted but the whole piece is good. Nice to see your back.

Re: Sand Paper

Posted: Mon Apr 05, 2010 2:04 pm
by MOEstradamus
good shit bro always love readin ur shit no homo nice flow all around solid verse

Re: Sand Paper

Posted: Thu Apr 08, 2010 11:50 am
by Def-init
Ayo,
This piece hit home wit me man.
Totally feelin it.
GREAT piece. great wording.
Lots of substance. I gotta read it again. Nice fam!

Re: Sand Paper

Posted: Thu Jul 01, 2010 8:01 am
by Munteskue1
Lol @ Definit

but damn dude you are good you could sell your lyrics to professional rappers and get signed to sony or some shit