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Brainstorm

Posted: Thu Feb 11, 2010 9:46 am
by Prime
Brainstorm

Beat from: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1kXhix0eOSM

A nigga,
who writes no topicals
I vary my mind set
and brainstorm
just like a tropical
STORM!
I leave my mics used and worn
Mister track runner
Cause I'm out of the norm
Beatin beats down in NYC
None above me
Playin hide and seek
To find the rap games key
Leave it unlocked
Wanna see more talent pops
Out writing lyrics...
Instead of runnin from cops
Hypnotized...
into psychosis
Spread out
My own lyricism
like osmosis
Try written lyrics
No album cover poses
Led me outta trouble
Raps my Moses
Hearin my God
Through my headphone pieces
Take my time
so reputation increases
Revive my kind before
The game deceases
Listen to my words
Its greatness...
which I preaches
uh...

Re: Brainstorm

Posted: Thu Feb 11, 2010 10:06 am
by DaPrince
Was this a freestyle?

Assuming it was then for what it is it's pretty good. I can see the overall concept and you stayed on topic for the most part.

If it wasn't a freestyle then the rhyme scheme and structure are both a little simple. The rhyme scheme could be elevated with increased multi's and longer lines would help the structure while giving you more content to convey your message.

Either way it was pretty good.

Re: Brainstorm

Posted: Thu Feb 11, 2010 10:11 am
by Prime
It really wasn't a freestyle although some parts where. I went for a unusual rhyme scheme from what I usually do. Anyways thanks for the feedback.