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Ring...

Posted: Wed Sep 13, 2006 1:32 pm
by Borat
This is about as much as i am gonna write on this...my motivation died on this one soo...


Once again that old dusty bell Rings in false hopes of a new life..One far away from this badly scratched and aged glass case...All though My shine is one in a million I grow dull.. As the Dust shadows my chin..But within this Bright crowd it's the Impatience that always seem to find An escape..But it's said"Good things come to those who wait".Deep thoughts keep me concealed in the hands of time putting me into an even deeper sleep, I awake to my blurred vision..The Once annoying bell seems to have a new Ring..Whispers dance upon my aged ears and sing songs of a Love lost.."momma's Gunna buy you a diamond..Ring"..That Song I've heard it somewhere...But where?.. God sings to me in my Prayers as he paces back and forth Upon this cracked Wood floor...Creeks and Moans speak out as if she walked upon piano keys, And spoke to me in tongues..A language that olny my heart would understand..Yet her heart beats me and laughs, As she spells her love for another with the pump of a pulse..He tries to break the ice with a joke, Laughing as he points to me..But I give him the cold shoulder...Within seconds I feel a presence of warmth and light, Inside this cold dark hole I call Home Sweet Home... Gods Rough hands and soft clear voice, answer my prayers as I'm passed to what seems to be my angel...Butterflies flutter and swarm my stomache, This loves plague makes it nearly impossible to breathe, while small talk still offers me a chance to relax.. I suffacate for a love that will never be gained, This long journey to reach the hollow heart..Will only end in heart break.. See i was never a fix it man...

sorry if i left you looking for more...i just feel this will be too long...if i continue haha sooo thats what you get...maybe one day i will go back and finish it hopfully

Posted: Sun Sep 17, 2006 2:28 am
by Borat
Feed would be nice...Thanks

Posted: Thu Oct 05, 2006 5:45 am
by Lawgix
that was pretty tight man, reminds me of my old days waitin for that fuckin bell to ring so i could have freedom. it was the best sound honestly. but good shit man. keep elevating man. peace

Posted: Sat Oct 07, 2006 11:11 am
by complexity
Very descriptive. People should really read these poems and lead feedback.

Depth is very talented.

Posted: Sat Oct 07, 2006 11:19 am
by Khan-Verse
yo man that shit was tight....i liked it alot keep that shit coming.

Posted: Sun Oct 08, 2006 12:01 am
by Borat
Thanks For The Feed...uppin, i think i will finish this, watch for me...i have a new poem coming your way haha see you all soon...and once again, Thanks For The Feed!

Posted: Sun Oct 08, 2006 4:08 am
by Invincible
I agree with complexity nice work man

Posted: Mon Oct 09, 2006 1:28 am
by Ambiguous Realm
yes very descriptive i could practically imagine it although it fell off on some parts .. i wont judge the rhyming for it since it doesn't seem to be ur strong point but ur definitely talented

Posted: Mon Oct 09, 2006 11:14 pm
by Borat
Thanks For The Feed...Uppin

Posted: Tue Oct 10, 2006 3:14 am
by precise
damn, good job man, i found it entertainin to the last line. lovin all the mettaphorical references to random things making them have a place in the verse and make sense, thats where talent and creativity come in. lets see some more