Memories of pain

[Def-init]

A path to greatness.
No matter how I hated him,
I love him now as cremated ashes
A death, a tragic ending.
A family member dead.
A father I never knew.
One I never wanted to now sits next to me
How weird it is to have him home again.
The urn shining, the smell of Old Spice rotting.
Damn, even my tears are crying...

All the physical abuse suffered.
All the emotional curses I buffered.
Took on all the pain.
Needed to protect my family.
I feel like I was born a man.
Never had the time to play in a park.
So much time spent healing.
So much inside me screaming.
So much time I spent with mom, shielding.
I am young, I will heal.
She was my angel.
I never asked for this life.
Never wanted to be born.
Nonetheless I am here.
I did what I had to do to
protect her.

Fought back cause she couldn’t.
But whose side did she take?
His...Whose hand did she hold?
His...Whose stomach did her breast feed?
His...Whose fears did she comfort?
His...

14 years old.
A little sister is born.
Mother in pain.
Father has an evil grin.
A new female in the house.
He pictures her without a blouse.
The screams I hear one night.
An assault they called it.
Mom in pain, but her calls I don’t reply to.
A new life needs me. A new bond formed.
Maybe this is why I was born here.
My sister so helpless.
My anger...timeless

The door opens.
The shadow eclipsed me.
David vs. Goliath is the perfect picture I paint.
I don’t move. Fists rose.
I'm immune to the pain.
He won’t get to her.
The human frame stumbled forward.
This smooth talker is drunk again...
A slap of the hand.
My head turns.
I look back, not a single tear shed.
Eye to eye we lock.
The puzzled look on his face.
The anger I feel, has God's grace.
He knows this isn’t a battle he can win.
He turns and leaves.
Mom is screaming again.

So much pain in my past.
So much passed while I was in pain.
But it was all worth it,
when I see the smile on her face.
I love my sister
a love that makes it all worthwhile.

It is now the present.
I sit crying with this urn.
My sister walks in.
Hugs me again and again.
I know I will never be alone.
It feels good for a change.
someone else can be the shield.
someone else can take a stand.
The day fades to night.
The ashes fade in the wind.
My father...
will never be thought of again.