Hip Hop Forum

too risky,
I spiked my punches 200 poof whiskey,
courtesy of Jethro from the foothills of Starkville Mississippi, private stock no label,
got ya gulping the stuff straight out the ladle, at the party guarding the table,
punch drunk tipsy, you thought you could whip me, oops somebody done slipped you a mickey,
still boozing, understand yo confusion, I ain’t no illusion but I’m still tricky,
gifted, lyrically nifty, finish you off quickly, in a hurry in a jiffy, swiftly
got ya hallucinating images the swirling colors are trippy
told you the proposition to oppose me was iffy

Flow's really choopy, that's something you need to work on. Multies could have been better, some didn't match up like they should have. Vocab's decent and the concept was simlple, but not too simple, just no real substance. Overall it was alright, just keep working hard, keep droppin' and you'll progress more and more.

thanks man.

HA!! I actually could hear this being spit... No offense, but I could hear Nicki Manaj spittin' this with her silly ass. I'm actually diggin' this style.

"punch drunk tipsy, you thought you could whip me, oops somebody done slipped you a mickey" -- yea, that's some shit she'd say LOL!

Keep droppin man.

thanks man. how do i make my multies pop without being so wordy?

thanks...like my other drop. Help me rise.

too risky,
I spiked my punches 200 poof whiskey,
courtesy of Jethro from the foothills of Starkville Mississippi,

I Like that.


got ya gulping the stuff straight out the ladle, at the party guarding the table,
punch drunk tipsy, you thought you could whip me, oops somebody done slipped you a mickey,


This is a line you need to just break the fuck up like budds lol and rethink the whole shyt.



still boozing, understand yo confusion, I ain’t no illusion but I’m still tricky,
gifted, lyrically nifty, finish you off quickly, in a hurry in a jiffy, swiftly


finish you off quickly in a jiffy. would sound better



got ya hallucinating images the swirling colors are trippy
told you the proposition to oppose me was iffy


Aiiight..
ok Drop.


you Potential Like ThaOne Said ..
So Stay Up N Keep Dropping

some nice lines here maybe need to sort the layout out a bit choppy in places but that could be fixed with the layout pretty nice drop just wook on some things here and there

thanks homies. Imma work on developing cadence/beat. that should help me with the choppiness/wordiness.

Thanks for the constructive criticism.